Time flies, doesn’t it?!
Today is the six-year anniversary of this blog! Yayy! Happy Birthday to you, bloggy!
Wow! I had to check the date multiple times on that first proper blog post I wrote here to actually believe this. It sounds like a cliche, I know, but it really feels like just yesterday that I wrote that piece.
(Well, okay technically, I had created the blog much, much earlier than six years ago – way back in 2011, but I started writing here somewhat regularly from July 25th, 2016 only, and so, that’s what I consider as the starting date of this journey. As they say, things happen when they are supposed to happen!)
And it’s been a good journey. I’ve learnt some things about myself as I tried to put my thoughts and feelings into words. Writing kind of forces you to streamline that jumble of internal monologues into somewhat of a coherent thing, which gives you some clarity. You ask yourself questions, see the inconsistencies, try to resolve them, and when you can’t, you discover, and make peace with, the contradictions that are present in how you look at things – all leading to better self-awareness in one way or another.
Trying to write more regularly also motivated me to introspect more than I may have done otherwise. It introduced me to some good quotes too, as I thought about sharing them as a change from the longer-format essays I usually posted here. Then came the poems. Although I used to write poems even before I started blogging, the incentive of having a wider reach of audience definitely played its part in keeping that flame alive. Let’s see what comes next.. 😉
But, even given all of the above, for the last couple of years, I haven’t been able to write as much as I wanted to. And I’ve been missing it. It’s just that I haven’t been in that zone to be able to actually refine that internal noise into something meaningful. Even though I now have more time than I used to earlier, it still feels like, somehow, things have become ever more complicated. That constant clutter in the background hasn’t allowed me to focus enough to be able to finish my drafts, or to reflect on new ideas.
Plus, it’s difficult to have a creative process work at a fixed, regular frequency. I tried it initially. But I realised that over time, it was becoming mechanical. I was writing for the sake of writing. There was a conflict between two opposing ideas.
One said that I should push myself to write, no matter what. Because you become better only by writing more and more, and if that means setting deadlines and schedules, so be it. And if I’m being honest, there was also a concern that if I don’t put something out regularly, I’ll lose any readers that I may already have (even though I probably have like just 2-3 regular readers, if at all. But for a newbie, wannabe writer, even they matter a lot!).
The alternate view was that writing should be organic, especially given the themes and purpose of this blog. Writing was supposed to be an outlet. What was the point of indulging in it, if I was becoming more concerned about the “materialistic” aspects of it. And like I said before, things happen when they are supposed to happen; we can’t really force them into existence.
So, I’m leaning towards the second argument these days. But I wouldn’t be surprised if, in some time, I start leaning towards the first again. As most things go in life, this might also be cyclical in nature. But yeah, for now, I’ll try to write more regularly (or rather, try to reflect on things more regularly), but I won’t make a thing out of it. If something comes out of those moments of reflection, great! If not, that is okay too.
But I do hope this journey continues for a long time ahead. For six years (!!), I’ve managed to hang on, even if on an on-and-off basis. Writing has made my life just that little bit easier. And I think you’d agree, we can all do with life being a little bit easier.
I’d also like to believe (and really wish) that perhaps, somewhere, someone found some value in this blog. Maybe a thought, or a feeling of being a little less alone, or maybe even some practical advice.. anything. I know I’ve been lucky enough to find words, written by strangers I’ve never met and will probably never meet, that have given me hope on a cloudy day, laughter when I needed it, acted as a guide when I felt lost, and in general, just enriched my life in myriad little ways. In turn, I’d really like to be that person for someone else now – pay it forward along the chain. With interest, if possible.
So, with that hope, I’ll wrap up today’s blabbering.. 😁 Feeling too sentimental I guess. I could go on and on and on… But I’ll stop. For now. 🙂
See you around!
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Echoes In The Ether 