Tag: think

The Relationship Between Words & Reality

A Wondering WandererLeave a comment

Lately, I’ve been noticing a lot more instances of the gap between what reality is, and the words which we use to describe it. And it impressed upon me how limited words are in their capacity. Reality, on the other hand, quite literally, encompasses all there is.

Yet, when talking about things, people, ideas, we tend to get caught up in the words that are used. Not only that, words are not even objective; they are highly subjective. The same words can mean different things to different people, depending on their own personal journeys. (I’ve talked about this before, and if you’d like to explore this idea in slightly more detail, you can check out my post, “What Do You See And Hear?”)

Now imagine using something so limited and subjective like human vocabulary to describe the utterly rich and complex reality of the world around us. When we stop to think about it, it shouldn’t be surprising that there’s a huge gap between what we can describe with words, and the real thing.

But as Boyzone said, “It’s only words. And words are all I have.” We have to do with what we have. So, I’m not saying that we should just give up on using words to talk about things. But what we should do is to try and avoid getting boxed in by these words. We should remember that no matter what words we use, no matter how well we articulate something, reality will be, more often than not, way more than that.

The key is experience. We need to really live the thing we talk about to fully grasp and appreciate it. And until we can do that, we will do well to remember: it’s only words. And words are not enough.

Oh, and yeah, the irony of using words to describe how words are not sufficient to describe reality is not lost on me! 😅

For more such posts, please follow Echoes In The Ether on Instagram, Facebook, WordPress, or Medium.

Credits: Quote by yours truly. Image created with Canva.

People And Their Stories

A Wondering WandererLeave a comment

Just one of those days today. Contemplative. Thinking about the connections I have made over the years with people. Now that I think about it, it’s only natural to be in this mood, this time of the year: ‘tis the season! The year-end holidays give us an opportunity to pause and to look back on the year gone by. And sometimes, on more than just the current year.

Have you also ever reflected on the people you’ve crossed paths with in your journey? And I’m not talking about family. We are kind of born into this group of people. I’m talking about friends, partners, colleagues, and even strangers in some cases.

At this point, I’d encourage you to think about someone whom you know well now, who is important to you, but who was once a stranger.

Now think about how, over time, you have come to trust, rely on, and confide in this person, who was once upon a time a total stranger.

I’m guessing you guys found a mutual connection somewhere. Of course, the connection would’ve solidified and become stronger over time, but the potential of this connection was always there, wasn’t it? Yet did you really know that one day, you would connect with this person this way, when you had first met them?

And that brings me to the point of my post today: there is so, so much more to people than what first meets the eye!

Every person has a story. Every person is a story. Every. Single. One. 

And sometimes, we tend to forget just how deep and rich these stories can be! There are so many little things that make us who we are today. Things we have done, things that interest us, things that we want to do, things that keep us going.

It’s easy to get caught up in the fast-paced life of today. Everyone is rushing from one thing to another, one day to another. Work, family, friends, our own interests, everything demands our time and attention. It’s rare to find people who can say they have extra time in their life; most of us always have more things to do than what we can manage.

In this rush, it’s easy to see people, and yet not really see them. We come across so many people today, whether through work, social media, dating apps, travel, whatever. And when we meet all these people, we quickly put them into buckets, based on broad categorization criteria like their appearances, or job profile, or family background, or a myriad of other ways..

But people are more than that, aren’t they? Aren’t you? 

A lot of what makes us, us, are the little details about our lives. The pet projects and pet peeves that we have. The quirks, the edges. 

I think most of us go through “phases” in our life. During any one of these phases, we are very much into one particular thing or another. Some examples: those years or months when you were into sports. Or gymming, gaming, singing, reading, learning a foreign language, baking, traveling, blogging… The list can be endless. These are like the sub-plots in our “main” storyline. We do these on the side, while on our main journey of studying, working, dating, family, etc.

Sometimes, one of these “phases” consumes us enough that we want to pursue it rigorously. We may decide to take it up as a career, or stay invested in it some way or another for life. Most of the time, we simply outgrow these phases. Sometimes, we move on to a different phase. Sometimes, we get so caught up in our “main” storyline, that all these other things seem childish and a waste of time.

But irrespective of what happens to these phases in the end, the fact remains that at some point, they were a significant part of our life. And I feel that over a lifetime, these small things taken together is what really makes us unique. Millions of people do the job that I do. Millions come from similar socio-economic backgrounds. Millions might have the same kind of family structure that I have. Yet, everyone is unique. Why? Because no two people would’ve had the exact same kind of life because of these small details.

And I find getting to know these details about people fascinating! Discovering these tidbits about a person makes me feel more connected to them.

[As I write this, I realize this sense of “discovery” is a recurring theme with me. Few years ago, I talked about something similar, when I wrote about “the joy of discovering connections”.]

Anyway, getting back to the main theme of this post: A friend was recently telling me about one such phase of her life. And it made me feel like I was seeing this side of her that I had not known of before at all. And there’s so much that you learn about a person even from the smallest of things, isn’t it?! The reasons why someone gets into something, why they keep doing it, and why they stop. I had an even greater appreciation for this friend after getting to know this part of her life.

And it made me realize that there are so many such mini-stories within the main story of everyone’s life. And this is true not just for others, but for ourselves too! Which is something that at least I, personally, tend to forget sometimes.

But yeah, the thing I want to remember from that night, and the thing that I hope you’ll take away from this piece is this: people are way more than what meets the eye. So, ask them their stories. Of course, not everyone would be willing to share theirs with everyone else, but if they give you that privilege, recognize it as one. Ask them what things they were into as kids, as teens, as young adults. Even the things they are into now. And the things that piss them off. And the things they think about late at night when they can’t sleep. Really get to know them. It can be a beautiful and life-affirming experience.

And on a related note: look for opportunities to share your story too! Some people might find it hard to initiate talking about themselves. I do sometimes (Ok, maybe not in writing, but in person, yes.. 😅). We tend to overthink that why would someone else be bothered about these things about us, perhaps we shouldn’t bore everyone with our weirdness. But chances are they just might appreciate us sharing all of these things! I know I am glad that my friend decided to share that story.

If you are a F.R.I.E.N.D.S. fan, maybe you can relate to this example: Remember the series finale, where Monica reveals that Ross tried to make it as a dancer in New York, and Ross replies that they almost went 10 years without this topic coming up? Such a small detail, a passing reference really, and yet, didn’t we feel like we knew so much more about Ross just based on this one thing? Didn’t we feel more “connected” to the character?

As another year dawns tomorrow, perhaps this can be our new year resolution: that we will try to connect more with those around us – that we will encourage them to share their stories, that we will strive to be more open ourselves.

I don’t know about you, but it seems like a good idea to me! 🙂

* * *

On that note, I’ll wrap up for this year. On a personal front, this year was one of the toughest for me, for several reasons. Of course, I don’t want to lose sight of the fact that this year was far worse for so many others, owing to wars, climate catastrophes, natural disasters, poverty, political conflicts, etc. So, I’m just glad this year is in the rear-view mirror now for everyone.

Here’s hoping that the coming year brings a lot more peace, prosperity, health, happiness, laughter, and love for you, and for everyone around the world. The world really can do with some better days!

Wishing everyone a very Happy New Year! 🥂

See you on the other side.. 🙂 

For more such posts, please follow Echoes In The Ether on Instagram, Facebook, WordPress, or Medium.

Credits: Photo by Maegan Martin on Unsplash

How Many Times More?

A Wondering WandererLeave a comment

On a recent trip down the rabbit hole (while searching for something on the net), I came across something that I felt like sharing with you all today.

Because we don’t know when we will die, we get to think of life as an inexhaustible well. And yet everything happens only a certain number of times, and a very small number really. How many more times will you remember a certain afternoon of your childhood, an afternoon that is so deeply a part of your being that you can’t even conceive of your life without it? Perhaps four, or five times more? Perhaps not even that. How many more times will you watch the full moon rise? Perhaps twenty. And yet it all seems limitless…

This is an epitaph written on Brandon Lee’s tombstone. For those who don’t know him (I confess, I didn’t at the time), he was an actor, and the son of the legendary Bruce Lee. And unfortunately, he died at a very young age of 28.

And to give credit where it’s due, the above epitaph is actually paraphrased from a 1949 novel ‘The Sheltering Sky’ written by Paul Bowles.

The reason why I wanted to share this is because I found something really heartfelt about this quote. It just makes you pause and think about things, doesn’t it?

How many times do we really see the full Moon rise? When was the last time that you saw it? How many times do we share conversations and laughter with our loved ones? How many memories do we have that we cherish beyond anything?

The numbers may vary for different people, but one thing I think would be common for us all, is that we never think about how many more times we will get to experience those beautiful moments again. We just take these things for granted.

We are so used to certain things that we never fully realize how precious they are. We have such fragile and ephemeral lives. Anything can happen anytime. Yet, it’s like we are blind to the whole thing.

Now I do understand that there’s a practical aspect to the whole thing, and that we wouldn’t be able to function properly if we kept thinking about the impermanence of it all. I agree that we do need to focus on the present moment, and not worry about what might happen in the future, which we can not control beyond a certain limit.

But that should happen as a conscious choice, isn’t it? Not because we don’t realize the nature of these things, and are just living unconsciously, tumbling from one day to another. We must remain aware of how limited our days are. Because only then can we truly, deeply appreciate things like those wonderful memories, beautiful Moon rises, the laughter of loved ones, etc.

We get so caught up in our lives, postponing our plans for that vacation, for that conversation, for that reconciliation, for that thing that we always wanted to do, that we never stop to think what if there isn’t enough time to do those things later?

Experience what you can while you can. Go see the Moon rise!

For more such posts, please follow Echoes In The Ether on Instagram, Facebook, WordPress, or Medium.

Pic Credits: brandonlee.com

The Most Important Question

A Wondering WandererLeave a comment

So, today’s post is based on an interesting observation a dear friend made sometime back. Before we get to that though, let’s start with some background.

For the curious mind, there are just too many questions out there. When did something happen, who did what, what was the reason for something, how things work, where things come from and go, etc.

There can be no end to questions, I think. The more we know, the more there is to know further. Look at science. There was a time when the atom was the smallest thing. One would’ve assumed that knowing that would be the end. But, no. Because even with that knowledge, we didn’t stop questioning. We wondered about what the atom itself was made of, how it worked, etc. Because of these questions, now we know that even the atom’s not the smallest thing (they are made of quarks, if you were wondering). And now, scientists are delving even further into these building blocks (the quarks).

And it applies to almost everything, not just science. Look at history, economics, human behavior, etc. Whenever we think we have nailed down something as an underlying fact, if we continue to ask more questions after that point, we can always find another level of detail.

The point is that questions are never-ending. There are always more questions we can ask, and when we do, we always get more answers. It may take time, but eventually, we get there.

But, even though questions are inexhaustible, fundamentally, they all belong to one of these types: who, what, when, where, how, and why.

And this is the interesting observation that my friend made: these questions are not all equal. We can have an infinite number of questions, and we can funnel them into these six types, and although all of them have their own value, there’s one type that is most important, and also the most difficult one to answer. And that is the class of questions asking, “Why?”

It may not seem that big of a deal initially, but when I thought about it more, I realised how much more significant this question is, compared to the others, and how much impact it has in our lives.

The other questions are definitely important. But they are more… how should I put it.. “superficial” in a way. They are based on facts. If we have full knowledge of all the variables in the system, we can answer them.

But “Why?” That is another beast. It pushes us to explore outside the boundaries. It goes deeper, and wider, and surrounds us, and subsumes us.

As before, it’s not restricted to one domain. Any domain you look at, “Why?” is perhaps the most important question. Science, history, law, human behavior. Especially, human behavior. It’s even become somewhat of a corporate mantra these days, as popularized by Simon Sinek.

Compared to all the other “materialistic” questions, “Why?” is the “philosophical” one. It leads us to think about and discover new questions we didn’t even know we wanted to ask. 

But, it’s not for the faint of heart. When asked openly and courageously, it can show us a brutal reality we may not be ready to face. It can also lead to desperation, a feeling of helplessness in not knowing the answer. 

Or it can open our eyes, expand our horizons. It can take our awareness to another level in the journey of discovery. It’s more insightful than anything we know of. As someone who likes to think about these things, I was really taken in by how much more significant and profound “Why?” is compared to the other questions. It’s head and shoulders above the rest.

* * *

Once we realize the power of “Why?”, and can inculcate the habit of going back to it in our daily lives on a regular basis, it can be an eye-opener, and a guide for life. Here’s a simple exercise: think of any three things that are happening in your life right now. Something that you are working on, something someone said, something that happened at work. Anything. Even if not three, think of at least one such thing. And then ask “Why?”

It’s scary, and it’s beautiful.

And it’s worth asking. Every. Single. Time.

For more such posts, please follow Echoes In The Ether on Facebook, WordPress, or Medium.

Photo Credit: Gerd Altmann at Pixabay

The Most Important Thing To Know

A Wondering Wanderer1 Comment

Recently, one thought has been popping up in my mind repeatedly. And it happens at all sorts of time – when driving, when walking, even when talking.

Not that I’m complaining though. In my somewhat routine life, I tend to forget a very important thing, maybe, even the most important thing. But I’m glad that these days, the thought has been staying fresh in my memory through repetition.

And that thought is:

Read More »

The Art & The Artist

A Wondering WandererLeave a comment

So, there’s this artist that I follow online. I think he’s good with his “art” (web comics). However, some time back, I came across some of his views on certain topics, and I found myself disagreeing (sometimes, quite strongly) with a few of those.

This made me wonder if I should continue visiting his website for the comics, and thereby, encouraging him (in an indirect way). The comics, BTW, are totally independent of his views that I had objections to.

And I realised, this is not just about this particular artist and his art. It’s a common issue that we face each day of our lives. We have all heard of brilliant artists and other celebrities indulging in drugs, violent and racist behavior, crime, etc. We have leaders talking bullshit, organisations flouting norms, and closer home, we even have friends and family members, with whom conversations about certain topics invariably end up in arguments.

These are not ideal situations to be confronted with. But what do we do in such cases? Do we continue engaging with such people?

Read More »

How Free Are We Really?

A Wondering Wanderer1 Comment

We have all heard the word “freedom”. One might define it as the ability to move around freely, to be able to say and do things one wants (assuming no rules or laws are being broken by such things). If asked if they are free, most of us would probably say that we indeed are.

However, apart from the physical manifestations of freedom, I think the mental aspects of it are equally as important, if not more. To be truly free, I think one must have freedom from fear, experience, conditioning, self, and knowledge.

Let’s talk about each of them and see why they are important, and how we can deal with them.

Read More »

What Am I Entitled To?

A Wondering WandererLeave a comment

Have you ever met one of those people who always seem to have unrealistically high expectations from you? Their expectations from you maybe selfish – like for you to always be available at their beck and call to do whatever they ask – or it can be “in your best interest” – the kind of expectations really “driven” parents have for their children’s future.

Well, I know of at least one such person. And I can tell you: sometimes, that person can be a real pain-in-the-ass. Do you wanna know who that person is? Well…it’s me.

Read More »