Have you ever noticed those moments when you discover something – something important? Like a life altering piece of information, or such an obvious piece of knowledge that you can’t imagine how you never thought of it before. It doesn’t even have to be so dramatic – it could even be something as simple as stumbling across a song or a book that just moves you.

There’s a certain quality to those moments of discovery.  At first, you don’t realize what it is that you have discovered, but slowly, it dawns on you – what you have stumbled across, its significance. Whatever the discovery may be, you’ll never see the thing it was about, the same way ever again.

It’s like enlightenment – to get your eyes opened, to see something that you had been seeing all your life, yet to see something that you hadn’t seen before. And I find these rare moments quite pleasant. This is what I mean by “the joy of discovering”.

And when I talk about “the joy of discovering connections”, I’m talking about those moments where I discover a mutual point of interest with another person. It can be as simple as the shared bonding over one’s favorite TV show, or as deep as finding one’s soulmate (in a manner of speaking).

Although I’m yet to find any life-altering, “deep” connections, I still derive joy from discovering even those little, simple connections. Those little things are the intersection points of the vastly complicated and random threads of our lives, and I find a certain beauty in that. Isn’t it cool to find that one person who loves that same obscure book / song / TV show that you do, that no one else has even heard about? The things that had to have happened for you two to come to that place…

* * *

Having these connections is great, but there’s a catch: I find that the joy is in discovering these connections, and not just in knowing about them.

For example: there’s no comparison between “organically” discovering that you and your friend both love that same old song, and someone else just telling you that you both like that song.

As is the case with life in general, the fun is in the journey, the surprise, the discovery.

Which brings me to my question, the motivation behind this post: What do I do if that discovery is one-sided? What if I’ve found a connection, but the other person is not aware of that just yet?

Should I go forward and tell that person? But won’t that rob them of finding it themselves? What if that changes the very nature of the connection, and I destroy whatever may have been by sharing it outright?

Or, do I say nothing, and hope that person will somehow stumble onto that discovery themselves? What if they never do?

Moreover, what if I’m wrong? What if there’s no connection at all, and it’s all in my head? After all, most of the times, we only see what we want to see. So, perhaps I’m seeing a connection where none actually exists. Neither of the options above – that of taking it to the other person directly and appearing desperate and embarrassing myself, or foolishly waiting for them to find something that doesn’t exist, present a way forward.

* * *

I came across this dilemma some time back, when, coupled with a couple of curious coincidences, I found that someone shared some interests similar to mine. Now as I said, the coincidences may have been just that, and I may have been clutching at straws, but I found myself thinking there was a connection. That person though, unaware of those coincidences, probably knows or thinks nothing of it.

I wanted to build on that connection. But as I said before, I’m not sure of the right approach. So, I’ve tried taking the middle road – just reaching out casually without going into the details of any connections, real or presumed. It’s probably not been enough, as I haven’t heard anything back yet.

I think I’ve done what I could for now. And, I do believe that if it’s meant to be, it will be. Some might call that escapism or naivety, and they may well be right. But when has faith listened to reason?

And so, I get on with my life, eager to listen to the knock on the door, but not expecting it. It may not be ideal, but I don’t know a better way. If you do, please let me know.

---

This will be the last post for the year. It’s been a slow year – I haven’t  been able to write as often as I would’ve liked. But still, to all the readers, thank you for your time and patience, and I hope to see you next year too. Here’s wishing you all a very, very happy new year! 

---

For more such posts, you can follow Echoes In The Ether on Facebook, WordPress, or Medium.

---

Photo Credit: Caroline Hernandez on Unsplash