Many of us have probably faced situations where we are at a crossroads in life – we need to make choices that could significantly, and irrevocably, alter our life from there on out.

It’s tough to make those choices, knowing full well that the wrong choice could have a very negative impact on your life. Sometimes, you even wish you didn’t have to make that choice. But you are at that crossroad, and you must choose. Examples of such cases include committing to a relationship, changing jobs or giving up a well-paying job to follow a passion full-time, deciding to raise a child, etc.

It takes courage to make a choice at such a time. Maybe even a leap of faith. Whatever you may want to call it, it doesn’t come easy. You are excited about starting a new chapter in your life, but you are also scared of the uncertainty of success in case you do take the right path, and of the certainty of failure in case you do not; you want to make sure whatever choice you are making is for the right reason, but it is hardly ever easy to do so given so many factors that go into making that choice. Maybe you have been seduced by the hype around the whole thing. Maybe you are just doing it because everyone else is doing it. Maybe you are doing it for the money, or on a whim, or out of ego, etc. When it comes to justifying a decision, we could fool ourselves into believing whatever we want to believe, while the actual reason could remain something else. That is why, when making a choice, it is important, to me at least, that the driving factor behind that choice is “valid” and “reasonable”, and not just something superficial. To sift through all this, takes a lot of thinking and effort, so much so that at times, it can even be a struggle.

Of course, there are people who are quite sure of themselves and their choices. They don’t worry about so many things; they can just “jump in”. But for the rest of us, who are unsure of themselves, it’s a very challenging period. We overthink, we try to chart out possible outcomes and contingency plans, we need to mentally prepare ourselves to face the stark possibility of failure, and to temper our hopes and expectations in case of success, etc.

It’s not easy, but we do it. Somehow. We do our best to gather information, analyze it, and arrive at a decision. We go over it again and again. But finally, we decide. And in that moment, we think we’ll be okay with whatever happens after that. We can’t control everything, but we have done what we can for now, and we are happy with our choice.

But we are only human. When the stakes are high, we do look for support from our family. The support that we seek could be in the form of money, or legs in the field, or setting us up with the right contacts, or sharing their knowledge and experience, etc.. But mostly, it’s just emotional support that we seek – we just want to know that they understand us, and our decisions, and that they’ll be okay with however things turn out, because they believe in us, and in our ability to take the right call.

I wish I had that right now. Just a little faith, a bit of belief. In me, in my ability to make my own life’s decisions. 

I understand that my family is acting out of love and concern for me, and I do appreciate that. But there comes a time, when you need them to let go, to let you make your own mistakes and learn from them. This echoes something I had written a couple of years ago. Seems like nothing has changed on that front during this time. It seems that in my family’s eyes, I’ll always remain someone who’s not smart or capable enough to decide what’s good for him.

And it’s not just about being concerned about a risky decision. That is only natural when you love someone. What I’m really pissed about is that my family can’t even understand the reason I’m making that choice. They are assuming all kinds of frivolous reasons for it, which are far from the truth. The thing pinching me most is that they still don’t get me. Will they ever? If your family can’t, who can?

Fortunately or unfortunately, I’m a man of my own convictions. This risky choice of mine may well come back to bite me in the ass, or it may pay good dividends. After thinking about it and doing the best I can to arrive at a decision, I’m willing to take that chance. But it would’ve been nice to have your loved ones support you in that decision.

* * *

Sometimes, I wonder what my life would’ve been like if I had people backing me, who had faith in me. Not just on this occasion, but in life in general. I know people whose families have that kind of faith in them, and these people always seem to be quite confident and sure of themselves. It could just be a coincidence, but I have a feeling that it is not.

I guess for the rest of us, constantly fighting to stand up for our beliefs, and to prove ourselves is the only way to survive. Maybe one day that will change?

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Photo by Simon Rae on Unsplash