“I’m scared to be happy.”

I had heard variations of this in the movies. Didn’t think it was ridiculous, but it never really touched or connected with anything either. Until now.

The past few months have been disappointing. I know I have my family, my health, a job, a house, food on the table – all that one could need to survive, or even thrive. I know that I should be grateful for what I have, as most of the people in the world don’t even have half of those things. And I am.

It’s just that “needs” and “wants” are different beasts. And the things that I’ve been really wanting and hoping for, have not been happening, while things that I was not expecting, or looking forward to, have been. 

So, despite all that I have, I’ve been staring disappointment in the face one day after the other – at work, in personal relationships, finance, health – you name it. 

There have been moments of joy too. But overall, I haven’t been having the best of times these past few months. 

Until today^#.Read More »