Sometimes, in the daily grind of human life,
We forget what it means to be alive,Which is to see the beauty, to find peace,
In the swaying of trees, in the cool breeze.To wonder how, to ponder why.
To imagine all the worlds in the sky.To really live a life,
free of the cycle of distractions.To be more than just…
Chemical reactions
and
business transactions.
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Today, I wanted to talk about the issue of “acquired negativity” that we have to deal with in our lives, which we might not even be aware of on many occasions. That might sound confusing, so let me give you the context first.
So recently, I ran into some issues. Nothing major, just life’s little inconveniences. Like when your car battery dies, and you are stuck in the middle of nowhere, or when you come down with an ailment just when you have to go on a vacation, and which you must now cancel as a result.
So life was having a bit of fun at my expense. These things happen, and you just have to deal with them and move on, but I actually was feeling a bit overwhelmed and anxious about this particular incident.
But then, in a moment of clarity, I thought about what was so overwhelming about this thing after all. The answer: nothing really. Something happened, and I had to do something to fix it. Just regular maintenance stuff.
So, why the anxiousness? Good question. I asked myself the same. From what I could tell, this thing was coming from something more deep-rooted than what would appear to a casual observer.
I’m sure all of us here would agree with the fact that the kind of environment we grow up in affects our future lives pretty significantly. And I grew up with a parent who was easily overwhelmed and prone to get anxious at the smallest of difficulties. They would make a big deal about even the small inconveniences of life (the kind of examples I alluded to earlier), and how difficult our life would be now that we had this new “issue” to deal with. Overthinking and overanalyzing. Unfortunately, they couldn’t stop themselves from projecting the same onto those around, and especially onto an impressionable young mind.
I’m not trying to blame anyone here for anything, but just trying to highlight that over time, if we keep projecting our own insecurities, anxieties, and worries in our surrounding environment, it affects those around us too. Over time, they start to manifest the exact same insecurities and fears.
And this is true not just of our parents. We, ourselves, do it too – whether as spouses, siblings, friends, co-workers, neighbors, or even as total strangers on the internet – we broadcast our own fears and anxieties in all directions, without really thinking much about the impact they will have on others.
In most cases, if you ask the person responsible, they’d say, truthfully, that they didn’t intend to spread this negativity. But because we live our lives on auto-pilot most of the time, we do end up doing these things, albeit unintentionally and without realizing what we are doing.
Constant exposure to such negativity starts affecting our own thinking and how we deal with life. We start seeing things from the same view that is projected onto us, and in time, and in turn, we start projecting it further onto our own spheres of influence. Negativity begetting negativity.
The good news is positivity begets positivity too! We need someone to break that chain, and even reverse the effects, if possible. And we can do that by being more cognizant of our words and actions. Everyone has some fears and anxieties, and sometimes, we do need to share those with our loved ones, but we should be very careful of how and when we do that, and that we don’t burden them with the same unnecessarily, especially when they are not founded on sound reason.
If we can somehow become immune to the negativity surrounding us, and see things objectively for what they are, instead of the imagined demons lurking in the shadows, that would not only improve our own lives, but of those around us also. Instead of getting overwhelmed with life’s little inconveniences, we learn how to take them in our stride, and to not let them affect our mental peace. And in time, we can help others with the same too.
Wherever there’s a problem, there’s a solution; let’s focus our energies on finding that instead of on dwelling on the problem itself. It’s not easy though, but we have to try. I have to try. It will be a long journey, but as they say: the longest of all journeys begins with a single step. And the first step on this journey is to realize this whole issue of “acquired negativity” that we have to deal with.
Maybe all this is pretty obvious to everyone. But just in case it wasn’t to you, I hope you found some value in these words, and I hope that you, too, will help in breaking that chain!
Till next time!
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Well, today ends the first month of the year. It was just yesterday that I was bringing in the new year, and it’s already 1/12th over! Time flies, doesn’t it?!
Or, maybe it’s just me. This month was quite a busy one, on both the work and personal front. Last few days, it’s been tough getting any time at all. When one is running from one deadline to another, one needs a way to recharge, to avoid collapsing altogether. And recharge quickly too! It’s not like one can take a two day hiatus from life! If only everyone had a “fast charger” for their life.. 😄
Luckily, I have found mine. And you can use it too, if it’s compatible with your “device”, aka, your soul. So, without making this a suspense drama, I’ll let you in on my so-called “fast charger”: it is nature. I just love being around nature, and it is something that gives me immense peace and contentment.
But why do I call it my “fast charger”? Well, this is something that I just realized this past week. Even though I’d been tired, mentally and physically, from the stress, lack of sleep, etc., 15 minutes of a mindful morning being in nature was all it took to leave me invigorated. Yes, just 15 minutes! It felt so nice to just be in that moment, taking in the beauty and serenity of it all. I didn’t realize the full effect that it would have on me at that moment though. It was during the rest of the day, when I was busy with other things, that I really knew the value of those few moments from the morning. I had an energy and liveliness that I didn’t have in the days leading up to that morning. I felt light, and not under a cloud of heaviness that usually comes with stress.
And I realized something.
When you are in the place where you feel at home, when you are doing things that you really enjoy doing, when you are around people you love, time changes its dimensions. While only 15 minutes may elapse on the clock, what you experience is worth much, much more.
This is something I’ve alluded to earlier as well in another one of my posts, “The Importance Of Life’s Center”. For me, “nature” is my “center”. Different people may have different “centers”. Everyone needs to find their own. It may be an activity, a place, a person, a thought, anything really.
But the key is to be mindful and present when you are engaging with your “center”. I think that was the difference between this morning and so many other ones, all of which I usually spend in the same manner. Being mindful is what makes us see things clearly. It opens all our senses to the wonder and joy that we find in our “center”.
And it’s easy to see that with a very simple example too: suppose you have a “soul song” – a song that’s really close to your heart, that means something, that reminds you of something or someone important. Most of us have something like this. Now imagine this song is playing somewhere in the background during the day, when you are already working or doing something else that’s taking up some part of your attention. You might be aware of the song playing, but you wouldn’t feel very strongly about it. Now imagine you are playing the same song at night, while lying in bed before sleeping. The feelings that the song will invoke in you now will be far stronger. The difference? Your attention.
* * *
That morning was a reminder of the power of mindfulness to me. And also, of the importance of being around nature for me. We lead such busy and unmindful lives that we often don’t realize what peace and joy can be found in even the simplest of all moments. 😊
I’ll leave you today with this quote from Terri Guillemets, because it seems very apt to what I felt that morning:
(This quote is another thing I’ve already written about once earlier as well, if you are interested.)
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Hi all! So, I came across a wonderful post sometime back on Facebook, and thought would share the same with you today. Yes, it might seem strange, but social media does throw up some good gems sometimes! 😁
Here’s that post:
Isn’t that just a wonderful observation?!
And put so well into words by the author! I probably can not do as well a job of it, but I just wanted to expand on that analogy a bit. When I first read that passage, it seemed pretty straight-forward. But when I thought about it a bit more, I realised there was more to it than that.
We carry so much of our past, our experiences, our hurt and anger everyday, and everywhere, with us. You would’ve guessed: all these are the “glass” in this metaphor.
But here’s the thing: It’s not just restricted to such negative things. I’d also include positive things like peoples’ expectations, our own dreams, the longing for things yet to do or achieve, etc. in the definition of that “glass”. Anything that is part of our psyche, our soul, that we think about regularly as we live our life, is contained in that “glass”. The key concept is “thought” – the “glass” is just a collection of thoughts.
Then because of any unfortunate things that have happened to us in the past – losing loved ones, making mistakes, getting accused of things we didn’t do, sometimes, just being unlucky – we feel let down by life. We feel injustice was done to us. We feel wronged. We have trouble coming to terms with it. This is the “weight” of the “glass” that we carry with us.
But as before, there’s more to it than that. Even the positive things that I talked about earlier (expectations, hopes, longing) have a weight of their own! It might not seem like it, but somebody driven by the sole goal to achieve something in life, so much so that they become blind to everything else, also carries a weight in a way! When we pine for something so deeply that it hurts, we carry the weight of our longings too! Here, the key concept is “feeling” – the “weight” of the “glass” is how strongly we feel about our thoughts.
When the unknown author says that we become numb and paralyzed by the weight of the glass if we carry it too long, it’s clear how that would be the case when the glass is made up of our hurt, anger, disappointments, etc. The longer we hold on to these things, the heavier they become, until something has to break.
But this is also true when we feel too strongly about the other things – things like peoples’ expectations, our value in their eyes, things that we think we need to achieve to be happy, our so called “targets” in life.
Now, I’m not trying to say that we should let go of our dreams, that we stop working towards our goals, stop wishing for things. No. A life devoid of hopes, dreams, something to look forward to, wouldn’t be a life at all.
What I do want to say is, be aware of the weight of even these things.
Everyone knows that they shouldn’t hold on to anger, to regrets, etc. Whether we can let go of them is a different story, but at least, we know that these things are not good for us.
But the other things – the weight of the positives – is something we don’t realise generally. We live our lives chasing one thing after another, we begin identifying ourselves with our targets, as if they define us. They do not.
Every “glass” is different, as every human is different. But no matter what your glass is made of, good or bad, put it down, even if just for a short while, whenever it seems to be getting too heavy, before it becomes too late.
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Hey guys. Today, I want to get your thoughts on something.
So, a few days ago, I was talking to someone, and she mentioned that anybody and everybody, in the history of the world, who has done anything even remotely successful, no matter how small, was able to do that only because such people always act with a reasonable mind.
The point we were discussing was whether or not we sometimes make decisions without any reason. And her argument was that even though we may, such people can never, ever be successful. To succeed at anything, big or small, one always needs to have a reason to do whatever they do (or don’t do, as the case may be).
Other people may or may not agree with that reason, or may not even see that reason in the first place, but within that person’s mind, there’s always a logical reason, on the basis of which they can justify their actions.
As a corollary, anyone who can not provide a reason for doing (or not doing) something, is doomed to be a failure, and is an idiot, in general. According to her.
Now, if you have been following this blog, you’ll know that I’m one of those “idiots”, apparently – I don’t always have a clear reason for doing, or not doing, something. I go by an inherent “feeling”. I don’t know if I would even call it a “gut feeling” or “intuition” – I don’t think it’s that; it’s just something I want to do, something that feels right in that moment. Even though I may know that it will not work out for me in the future in any “materialistic” sense, I’d go and do it.
I understand if that indeed sounds like being an idiot. That part I get. So, when she indirectly called me an idiot, I understood. That’s how it would look to most people, and that’s okay.
What I had a problem with was her saying, rather insisting, that nothing good can come out of such a mentality. That a person without a reason is never going to succeed. She would go on to give examples of successful people, who always had reasons and justifications – she was a well-read person, and so it was easy for her. Unfortunately, I being not as well-read as her, couldn’t give her examples to the contrary.
* * *
Do you think she is right?
Do you think a person can achieve anything in life if they just do what they feel in their heart to be right, even though they can not see any reason in that, no matter how hard they try? And I’m not even talking about world domination or anything big like that. Even small achievements would do – doing well in your relationships, career, as a human.
I guess ultimately the question is:
Can your life be happy and peaceful, even if you live it without a reason driving your every action?
Clearly, since I don’t consider myself such a logical and reasonable person all the time, her line of thought that this was not possible, struck a nerve. I, of course, want to be successful in life. Who doesn’t? But do I really need to change who I am as a person at such a fundamental level to do that? Can I not be successful at having a happy life if I don’t have a reason for everything that I do?
I know some people might say, “But there are thousands of successful people who followed their heart to achieve their dreams!” This is where it gets a bit tricky. The people that I’m talking about (who can not provide a reason for their actions), are a different bunch than these people.
Even though these people may have followed their heart to achieve success, their actions would still have been driven by a reason, right? A person, like a path-breaking artist or an entrepreneur, who went against all conventional wisdom to follow their heart, and became a pioneer in their respective field, would still have made decisions along the way that in their mind would lead to that ultimate goal. So, even though they were following their heart, their actions were still guided by a reason – it’s just that other people couldn’t see that at that moment.
The people that I’m talking about don’t have a reason guiding their actions in the first place. They don’t plan their next “move”. They live moment-to-moment, guided simply by their heart’s compass.
* * *
And the other thing is, even if there has been no such person in the history of the world, shouldn’t we try it for ourselves? I know it sounds ridiculous when you think about it – with seven billion people currently, and countless others before me, what are the odds of me being that one finally?! But we all get just one life, don’t we? Do we really want to live it according to what has been, according to how we are supposed to? And if nobody had ever done anything for the first time, we wouldn’t be here to begin with, no? But I guess, it wouldn’t come to that – I somehow feel there have to be people before who have lived the kind of life I’m talking about, and yet been successful. Again, no reason based on facts or anything for that belief, just a strong feeling!
The way I see it, it comes down to choosing between living my life authentically, the way I am doing currently, which probably will not be a “success”, going by her opinion, as against living a life that one is supposed to, driven by reason and logic, which also may or may not be a success, but would probably have better odds than the first case.
It seems like a very complicated and important decision. And if indeed I need to make changes, the sooner I do, the better it’d be, no? So, I really would like to know what other peoples’ thoughts are on this. No sugarcoating – give it to me straight. I may not agree with the person that I had this discussion with, but I like her honesty and straightforwardness. So, please give me your honest opinion.
If by some chance, you don’t agree with her line of thought, and side with mine, it would be great if you can share some examples of such successful people. I’d like to throw that in her face the next time we meet! 😁
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Hi guys. Been a while. Again.
In case you have been wondering about what’s going on with the blog, let me tell you: it is not dead – it’s still alive and kickin’, just not as strongly as before, I guess. I’ve been meaning to write for some time, but just couldn’t finish anything. There have been drafts of incomplete and scattered thoughts, but nothing has materialized. Even today, there isn’t much to say, but it has been so long that I just wanted to write, no matter what ends up here.
I like web-comics, and recently came across the following one, which I think captures my current mood quite well. This is done by Gregor Czaykowski over at loadingartist.com. I like his comics, and think you should check them out too. So, here’s the comic:
This comic is actually part 3 of a still developing storyline, and here are the other currently available parts in the series: Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3 (this one) | Part 4 | Part 5 | Part 6 | Part 7 | Part 8.
The storyline has just connected really well with me, and I thought I’ll share it with you guys, in case it resonates with someone else too.
Well, I’ll keep it short today. I just wanted to be back here, writing and posting stuff. As they say, start off easy after some time off. 😁
Even though I haven’t been sharing any new content for a few months, I noticed that some kind people have still been reading my earlier stuff. I just wanted to say that even though I don’t know you guys, I’m very thankful to all of you. Knowing you are still interested is very motivating, and kinda also one of the main reasons why I wanted to be back here, writing and sharing again. I understand external validation may not be the healthiest motivation, but I’m just human, and this is something that I haven’t managed to overcome just yet. 😐
I hope to write more frequently in the coming months. I know I’ve said this earlier too, but let’s see how it goes this time. I do have some things I think you might like, including a new addition to the blog, in terms of what kind of content I post here. But for that, you’ll need to wait just a bit more.. 😉
Till then, I hope you have a good, healthy, happy life. See you again soon…
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Hey guys. Sorry, I’ve been away for a little bit. Even though I write about life, life itself got in the way of my writing. Talk about irony.. 🤷♂️
Anyway, recently, I realized something, and thought, would share the same with you. As Covid-19 still continues to ravage many parts of the world, a lot of us who have made it thus far, have had to rely on something to do that: the ever-growing, omnipresent, even omniscient, some would say, digital world.
Whether it is ordering essentials like food, groceries, medicines, and other supplies online, or booking vaccination slots, or making payments, or connecting with our loved ones, or even working, we have had to fast-track our movement to the digital at break-neck speeds.
That is not to say that these things were not happening online earlier. They sure were. But Covid has really pushed that in our face, and what was earlier just a convenience became a necessity.
It also highlighted one thing: in general, those who were already adept at the digital world, or were able to adapt quickly enough, were able to better withstand these tumultuous times.
But I think this story doesn’t just end with Covid. I think going forward, even beyond Covid, the digital world is what we, as the human species, need to adapt for. Earlier, the evolution of our species has been shaped by natural and environmental factors. But I think the next major leaps in our evolution will be driven by the digital ones. It’s the next frontier for evolution.
You might ask, what does that even mean? Well, adapting to a digital world doesn’t mean that everyone starts developing programs and writing code day and night or other things like that. No one needs to become Neo!
For me, adapting for the digital includes things like:
* * *
In the future, people who will be better able to address these challenges and opportunities will have a better chance of survival. Earlier we built local communities to better survive the environment and predators. In the future, we’ll need to learn to leverage our social networks. Earlier, our conflicts used to be over food and land resources. In the future, they will be over technology access and intellectual property. Earlier our culture and traditions were influenced by natural phenomena like eclipses, seasonal floods, etc. and we built gods around them. Will these all-knowing, all-powerful tech giants be the gods of tomorrow?
I don’t know exactly what the future will bring, or what it will look like. With virtual reality, quantum computing, robotics, data analytics, human-computer interaction (HCI), and a host of other ancillary technologies, the possibilities are endless. But one thing I do feel is that we need to be better prepared than we are right now, to deal with this emerging world order.
And we need to adapt quickly. Our survival will depend on that. It may not happen overnight, but it will happen, and it might happen sooner than we may imagine.
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There are known knowns. There are known unknowns. But there are also unknown unknowns. There are things we don’t know we don’t know.
Donald Rumsfeld
I recently came across this quote by Donald Rumsfeld, the former American politician. Although this quote by itself is quite enlightening – highlighting the limits of our knowledge, keeping us in check, lest we become over-confident and forget that no matter how much we know, there’s always more to know – it is not what today’s post is about.
So, why did I mention this quote? Well, as you were reading it, you might have also noticed something like I did. The quote talks about “known knowns”, “known unknowns”, and “unknown unknowns”. But there’s another category – “unknown knowns” – that’s conspicuous by its absence here.
And what exactly are these “unknown knowns”? Well, by their very definition, we can not know them! But even though we can not know or observe them directly, we can feel them. These things fall in the category of intuition, of faith, of belief.
This will be subjective to everyone, and many people might not even be able to relate to this, but if I talk about myself, there are things I just somehow “know” – there’s strong faith, belief even about certain things, which can not be justified or proved, based on empirical evidence, observed by our five senses.
It is these things that I refer to as the “unknown knowns” – “unknown”, because we don’t exactly know about how these things work, how they affect other things, how they came to be, etc., and “known” because our faith in them is so strong, that we know that they are true, that they do happen, even though we may not know how they happen.
It’s a complicated thing to try and explain in words. Let see if some examples might help. Of course, different people will have such faith in different things, but still, here are some examples: belief in a higher power, in luck or destiny, in the karmic law, in the power of love, in your dreams of achieving something, or even simply in a better future, etc. We might not have any concrete evidence to believe in these things, yet some of us do. We don’t know what that higher power is (I’m not necessarily talking about God here), but in our heart, we just know that it is there. That’s what makes these things the “unknown knowns”.
Reading that quote above, I was reminded that we live in a society that focuses so much on the knowns / unknowns in the traditional sense – where things can be proved and disproved using cold logic and facts – but we hardly put in enough effort to develop this other way of “sensing” things, which sometimes I feel is very important if we have to survive in this world.
Again, I may not have any way to prove this, but I know my life is better because of my faith in these “unknown knowns”.
What about you?
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If you are wondering what that weird abbreviation is, it is this: “Lessons From The Road”.
With this post, I hope to embark on a journey (pun intended), where sometimes, I’ll be sharing some of the lessons I’ve learnt while being on the road. And before you think of me as having a fun, travel-based lifestyle, and this as being some sort of a worldly-wise, rich collection of experiences (I wish!), let me tell you that, unfortunately, that is not the case.
When I say “lessons from the road”, what I mean is things I’ve noticed, or thoughts I’ve stumbled upon, while literally being on the road, behind a wheel. I enjoy driving, long drives specifically. There’s something about the open road, with the wind in my face, that tends to put me in a philosophical mood. That, coupled with the focus on driving, makes me notice some parallels / analogies between our journey on the road,, and our journey in life. And that is the genesis of these thoughts.
This is the first post in the series. However, this isn’t the first thought – there have been some earlier as well, but this is the first one I’m writing about. Keep an eye out for the rest in the future, as I hope to share them once those are penned down as well.
So, without further ado, here’s LFTR #1: Switching lanes frequently isn’t always as helpful as we might think.
Here’s what I mean by that:
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Sometimes you will never know the value of a moment, until it becomes a memory.
– Theodor Seuss Geisel, aka “Dr. Seuss”
Today’s post is going to be a short one, like this month of February itself. 😄
To be honest, it’s also because there really isn’t much to add to this beautiful quote by Theodor Seuss Geisel, aka “Dr. Seuss” – he just said it so simply and succinctly!
I was recently reminiscing about a few cherished memories, and when I read this quote after that, I realized how true this is.
The specific moments I was thinking about were nothing out of the ordinary as such when they actually took place. At the time, I never would’ve guessed that one day they’ll become as cherished as they have now.
In fact, many times, if not all of the times, it seems that the value of a moment is actually that it is a memory. It is over time that these moments become more and more valuable. Sometimes, the people involved are no longer with us. Sometimes, situations have changed dramatically, such that we are no longer in a position to recreate similar moments again, and we only have what we already had. Sometimes, it’s just that feeling, experienced for the first time, that we can not really experience again.
If these moments didn’t turn into memories, they would be lost amongst the millions of other small moments we live through, and don’t even remember. Which also highlights the importance of living each present moment consciously, and not just sleepwalking through our life.
The moments that we are living through now will become a memory one day. If you are living through a tough time, it’s difficult, but it will still pass. But, if you are living through a good phase of your life, really cherish it, for, we’ll really know the true value of this moment much later – when all we’ll have is a memory of it.
And with that, I’ll wrap up this post. Wishing everyone a life full of such moments and memories! 😊
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Echoes In The Ether 