Today, I wanted to talk about the issue of “acquired negativity” that we have to deal with in our lives, which we might not even be aware of on many occasions. That might sound confusing, so let me give you the context first.

So recently, I ran into some issues. Nothing major, just life’s little inconveniences. Like when your car battery dies, and you are stuck in the middle of nowhere, or when you come down with an ailment just when you have to go on a vacation, and which you must now cancel as a result.

So life was having a bit of fun at my expense. These things happen, and you just have to deal with them and move on, but I actually was feeling a bit overwhelmed and anxious about this particular incident.

But then, in a moment of clarity, I thought about what was so overwhelming about this thing after all. The answer: nothing really. Something happened, and I had to do something to fix it. Just regular maintenance stuff.

So, why the anxiousness? Good question. I asked myself the same. From what I could tell, this thing was coming from something more deep-rooted than what would appear to a casual observer.

I’m sure all of us here would agree with the fact that the kind of environment we grow up in affects our future lives pretty significantly. And I grew up with a parent who was easily overwhelmed and prone to get anxious at the smallest of difficulties. They would make a big deal about even the small inconveniences of life (the kind of examples I alluded to earlier), and how difficult our life would be now that we had this new “issue” to deal with. Overthinking and overanalyzing. Unfortunately, they couldn’t stop themselves from projecting the same onto those around, and especially onto an impressionable young mind.

I’m not trying to blame anyone here for anything, but just trying to highlight that over time, if we keep projecting our own insecurities, anxieties, and worries in our surrounding environment, it affects those around us too. Over time, they start to manifest the exact same insecurities and fears.

And this is true not just of our parents. We, ourselves, do it too – whether as spouses, siblings, friends, co-workers, neighbors, or even as total strangers on the internet – we broadcast our own fears and anxieties in all directions, without really thinking much about the impact they will have on others.

In most cases, if you ask the person responsible, they’d say, truthfully, that they didn’t intend to spread this negativity. But because we live our lives on auto-pilot most of the time, we do end up doing these things, albeit unintentionally and without realizing what we are doing.

Constant exposure to such negativity starts affecting our own thinking and how we deal with life. We start seeing things from the same view that is projected onto us, and in time, and in turn, we start projecting it further onto our own spheres of influence. Negativity begetting negativity.

The good news is positivity begets positivity too! We need someone to break that chain, and even reverse the effects, if possible. And we can do that by being more cognizant of our words and actions. Everyone has some fears and anxieties, and sometimes, we do need to share those with our loved ones, but we should be very careful of how and when we do that, and that we don’t burden them with the same unnecessarily, especially when they are not founded on sound reason.

If we can somehow become immune to the negativity surrounding us, and see things objectively for what they are, instead of the imagined demons lurking in the shadows, that would not only improve our own lives, but of those around us also. Instead of getting overwhelmed with life’s little inconveniences, we learn how to take them in our stride, and to not let them affect our mental peace. And in time, we can help others with the same too.

Wherever there’s a problem, there’s a solution; let’s focus our energies on finding that instead of on dwelling on the problem itself. It’s not easy though, but we have to try. I have to try. It will be a long journey, but as they say: the longest of all journeys begins with a single step. And the first step on this journey is to realize this whole issue of “acquired negativity” that we have to deal with.

Maybe all this is pretty obvious to everyone. But just in case it wasn’t to you, I hope you found some value in these words, and I hope that you, too, will help in breaking that chain!

Till next time! 

For more such posts, please follow Echoes In The Ether on Facebook, WordPress, or Medium.

Photo by Meghan Hessler on Unsplash