Have A Little Faith, Please?

A Wondering WandererLeave a comment

Many of us have probably faced situations where we are at a crossroads in life – we need to make choices that could significantly, and irrevocably, alter our life from there on out.

It’s tough to make those choices, knowing full well that the wrong choice could have a very negative impact on your life. Sometimes, you even wish you didn’t have to make that choice. But you are at that crossroad, and you must choose. Examples of such cases include committing to a relationship, changing jobs or giving up a well-paying job to follow a passion full-time, deciding to raise a child, etc.

It takes courage to make a choice at such a time. Maybe even a leap of faith. Whatever you may want to call it, it doesn’t come easy. You are excited about starting a new chapter in your life, but you are also scared of the uncertainty of success in case you do take the right path, and of the certainty of failure in case you do not; you want to make sure whatever choice you are making is for the right reason, but it is hardly ever easy to do so given so many factors that go into making that choice. Maybe you have been seduced by the hype around the whole thing. Maybe you are just doing it because everyone else is doing it. Maybe you are doing it for the money, or on a whim, or out of ego, etc. When it comes to justifying a decision, we could fool ourselves into believing whatever we want to believe, while the actual reason could remain something else. That is why, when making a choice, it is important, to me at least, that the driving factor behind that choice is “valid” and “reasonable”, and not just something superficial. To sift through all this, takes a lot of thinking and effort, so much so that at times, it can even be a struggle.

Of course, there are people who are quite sure of themselves and their choices. They don’t worry about so many things; they can just “jump in”. But for the rest of us, who are unsure of themselves, it’s a very challenging period. We overthink, we try to chart out possible outcomes and contingency plans, we need to mentally prepare ourselves to face the stark possibility of failure, and to temper our hopes and expectations in case of success, etc.

It’s not easy, but we do it. Somehow. We do our best to gather information, analyze it, and arrive at a decision. We go over it again and again. But finally, we decide. And in that moment, we think we’ll be okay with whatever happens after that. We can’t control everything, but we have done what we can for now, and we are happy with our choice.

But we are only human. When the stakes are high, we do look for support from our family. The support that we seek could be in the form of money, or legs in the field, or setting us up with the right contacts, or sharing their knowledge and experience, etc.. But mostly, it’s just emotional support that we seek – we just want to know that they understand us, and our decisions, and that they’ll be okay with however things turn out, because they believe in us, and in our ability to take the right call.

I wish I had that right now. Just a little faith, a bit of belief. In me, in my ability to make my own life’s decisions. 

I understand that my family is acting out of love and concern for me, and I do appreciate that. But there comes a time, when you need them to let go, to let you make your own mistakes and learn from them. This echoes something I had written a couple of years ago. Seems like nothing has changed on that front during this time. It seems that in my family’s eyes, I’ll always remain someone who’s not smart or capable enough to decide what’s good for him.

And it’s not just about being concerned about a risky decision. That is only natural when you love someone. What I’m really pissed about is that my family can’t even understand the reason I’m making that choice. They are assuming all kinds of frivolous reasons for it, which are far from the truth. The thing pinching me most is that they still don’t get me. Will they ever? If your family can’t, who can?

Fortunately or unfortunately, I’m a man of my own convictions. This risky choice of mine may well come back to bite me in the ass, or it may pay good dividends. After thinking about it and doing the best I can to arrive at a decision, I’m willing to take that chance. But it would’ve been nice to have your loved ones support you in that decision.

* * *

Sometimes, I wonder what my life would’ve been like if I had people backing me, who had faith in me. Not just on this occasion, but in life in general. I know people whose families have that kind of faith in them, and these people always seem to be quite confident and sure of themselves. It could just be a coincidence, but I have a feeling that it is not.

I guess for the rest of us, constantly fighting to stand up for our beliefs, and to prove ourselves is the only way to survive. Maybe one day that will change?

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Photo by Simon Rae on Unsplash

31 On 31

A Wondering WandererLeave a comment

Well, it’s been almost two months since my last post. Time indeed flies! Wish I could say I had been busy, but, come on! I should be able to find the time to write at least something in two months! I need a strong dose of motivation from somewhere!! If any writers are readers here today, maybe you can help me out: how do you guys motivate yourselves? And please, don’t say, “Just because I love writing!” Nothing wrong with that, but it’s just that, perhaps, for me, writing is more of a liking than a true love. So, I need some motivation from that perspective. 🙂

Anyway. So, I completed 31 years of this life on the 31st of last month. But I’m not here to talk about all those years today. I’ll just focus on the last one year.Read More »

Homesick

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Tumbling through a house empty,
Trudging along a life lonely,
I know now what it feels like,
To miss your home terribly.

In the rush of the rat race,
Far away, in this new place,
With so much on my mind,
I miss that safe, secure space.

Miss that life with family,
As carefree as it could be,
Sheltered away from the world –
From all the insanity.

Miss my room, my armchair, my desk –
Witnesses to words left unsaid,
To the few that were written,
And the many that were read.

Miss that comfort and that sleep,
So very restful and deep.
Miss waking up in my bed,
To that morning alarm beep.

I miss every nook and cranny,
Finding my way, at night, at three,
Knowing the place inside out,
I miss my home, with the old tree.

And I miss more than just the abode,
Even the turns and bumps in the road.
Those familiar neighborhood faces –
Miss listening to their anecdotes.

* * *

Wish I didn’t have to leave,
But needed to, I believe,
To learn, grow and evolve –
So many goals to achieve.

Time to face the world alone,
To fall and rise on my own,
See the different shades of life,
Some new, and some known.

But…

Isn’t it a little sad?
Takes living like a nomad,
Losing something essential,
To truly know what you had.

The entire world, you may roam,
Buy all the pleasures you can own,
Live in fancy hotels and villas –
Won’t find the peace of a home.

You may return to the nest,
For a couple of days’ rest,
Smoothly back into the groove,
Like you never even left.

* * *

One of the lucky few,
I wish every kid knew,
A place to call their own,
Before their time was through.

Those moments and laughter,
May pass by in a blur,
But will leave deep imprints,
Cherished forever after.

More than just bricks and concrete,
A shield from the cold and heat,
Home is the bedrock of life.
Your strength. Where you feel complete.

And,

It takes magic to turn stone,
Into the haven called home.
So, more than anything else,
I miss you the most, Mom.

I’ve been wanting to get back to writing poems for so long now. Finally, I’m able to share one with you all! I was still writing, but only the first drafts. It’s much easier to start one, but it takes effort to finish it, at least for me. Hope I get better at it over time. There are so many drafts yet to see the light of day! 😀

I don’t know if you can tell, but my poems are usually metaphorical. But not this one. It’s just about being homesick. And I was actually, literally, homesick! I was missing home so much one day, I had to take the day off from work, and just recover! Hope that’s not weird.. 😛

If you’ve been a regular follower of the blog, you’ll know that I had to move to a new city for work last year. Have been living independently since then, and there are days when I really miss my old life, my home. One such day was the inspiration behind this.

I’m sure many of you have had to face a similar situation, and hope you’ll connect with the sentiment behind this. And if you do like it, please share and spread the word! It will motivate me even more to keep writing! 🙂

Till next time…

Photo by Christopher Harris on Unsplash

For more such posts, please follow Echoes In The Ether on Facebook, WordPress, or Medium.

Scared To Be Happy

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“I’m scared to be happy.”

I had heard variations of this in the movies. Didn’t think it was ridiculous, but it never really touched or connected with anything either. Until now.

The past few months have been disappointing. I know I have my family, my health, a job, a house, food on the table – all that one could need to survive, or even thrive. I know that I should be grateful for what I have, as most of the people in the world don’t even have half of those things. And I am.

It’s just that “needs” and “wants” are different beasts. And the things that I’ve been really wanting and hoping for, have not been happening, while things that I was not expecting, or looking forward to, have been. 

So, despite all that I have, I’ve been staring disappointment in the face one day after the other – at work, in personal relationships, finance, health – you name it. 

There have been moments of joy too. But overall, I haven’t been having the best of times these past few months. 

Until today#.Read More »

When Do We Stop Being Ourselves?

A Wondering WandererLeave a comment

So, recently, I had another one of those moments of insight into my thinking and experiencing process. And I thought it might resonate with you too.

A few days ago, a friend and I were discussing something at work. Now both of us consider ourselves fairly open to looking at things from different perspectives, not being bound by our own experiences and first impressions.

For example: I may not get along well with a person X, but if some other person told me that X was a nice person, I wouldn’t not believe them. I’d chalk up my own bad experience with X to circumstances, or just misunderstanding, or maybe just that we don’t get along well together, even though we may both be decent people individually. There are so many possibilities, and plus, if the other person considered X a nice person, she must also be doing so based on her own experiences. I see no reason why my own experience was likely to be more accurate than hers. So, I’d give X the benefit of the doubt, and in any future dealings with X, I’d try and not start off with a confrontational attitude from the beginning itself, and instead try to see things from their perspective too. Well, I’d try, but I’m only human after all… 🙂

And the same goes forRead More »

What Our Tired Souls Need

A Wondering WandererLeave a comment

No, we don’t need more sleep. It’s our souls that are tired, not our bodies. We need nature. We need magic. We need adventure. We need freedom. We need truth. We need stillness. We don’t need more sleep, we need to wake up and live.

– Brooke Hampton

It’s true, isn’t it? Ask any person living in the so-called “adult” world, and they are more likely than not to tell you that they are tired, that they need a break. But no matter how much we rest or sleep each night, every night in the week, even catching some extra hours of sleep on the weekend, we don’t really feel as refreshed as we do after a short break or vacation from the monotony of our everyday lives.

Physical tiredness may be overcome by rest, but as Brooke Hampton said, it’s not our body that’s tired. It’s our soul.

We are tired of the constant challenges that we face in life – from little inconveniences to major setbacks, whether they be professional, financial, or personal. We are tired of the expectations that others have of us, that we have of ourselves, which are oftentimes unrealistic. We are tired of the constant deceptions and lies and betrayals that we feel we have been subjected to.

No amount of sleep can help us recover from these. What we need is a way to rejuvenate ourselves. A way to go back to the “beginning”. A way to reset and start over.

To do that, we need to Read More »

Know Your Personality Type

A Wondering WandererLeave a comment

Today I want to share with you what I think is a very useful tool. It may or may not work for you, but it was shockingly accurate for me! So, I just thought I’d share it with you, in the hope that you’ll also give it a try with an open mind.

Actually my previous post was inspired by the results of this tool itself, which is basically about identifying a person’s “personality type”.

If you’ve already heard about this categorization / classification scheme and don’t happen to believe in the same, please bear with me for just a moment before you shoot my head off for propagating such malarkey!

Personality type is basically a psychological classification of different types of individuals. There’s not a single scheme that claims to do this classification. You can read this Wikipedia page for more context and technical details on this.

It is one of these schemes, the “16 Personality Factors” (or Sixteen Personality Factor Questionnaire, 16PF) that I want to talk to you about.

I took this test at 16personalities.com and was amazed by the results! I was classified as an

Read More »

The Power Of The Knowledge Of The Self

A Wondering Wanderer4 Comments

Many times in life, we find ourselves in situations where we can’t figure ourselves out. We don’t know why we act or think the way we do. And what we can do if we wanted to change ourselves.

As a typical INFP type personality (yes, I do think there’s some merit to this personality categorization. Don’t know about you, but it works for me at least), I definitely like introspecting and asking questions of myself, and, in the process, discovering more about myself. I may not always be right, but the desire to understand myself better is there.

Even though there are numerous self-help books and articles and talks and so-called “experts”, all telling us about ourselves (some sincerely and helpfully, some not), I think it’s rare to find opportunities to really know ourselves. And rarer still to find those opportunities at the “right” time. Because, to really make full use of any such chances, we need to be in the right frame of mind emotionally and spiritually, based on our experiences. I’ve had instances when the same things have made much more sense when I came across them after certain experiences, when I was in a certain place.

Life is a constant teacher, but one has to be ready to receive the lesson to really understand and remember it.

* * *

But you might ask: “Why does it matter how well I know myself?” Well, to each, her own. Perhaps a person can only answer that question for oneself. Or, who knows, maybe it doesn’t even matter for everyone. There are some who even say that knowing oneself could be dangerous. But for me personally, it matters. It matters a lot.Read More »

Writer’s Block-ed!

A Wondering WandererLeave a comment

This post is not what I had in mind when I thought about writing one today, but writing has a way of finding its own course, which is what makes it so interesting in the first place.

Keeping in line with the overall theme of this blog, I was hoping to write about something profound or inspiring. Or maybe share a meaningful quote or link or some other such information. But no, that’s not what it’s going to be today.

For me, to be able to write about the stuff normally found on this blog, I need to be in a certain “zone”, certain frame of mind. When I’m there, the words flow automatically. Unfortunately, I haven’t been feeling that zone lately. Writer’s block, maybe? More on this later.

While I do have a few ideas Read More »

The Joy Of Discovering Connections

A Wondering Wanderer1 Comment

Have you ever noticed those moments when you discover something – something important? Like a life altering piece of information, or such an obvious piece of knowledge that you can’t imagine how you never thought of it before. It doesn’t even have to be so dramatic – it could even be something as simple as stumbling across a song or a book that just moves you.

There’s a certain quality to those moments of discovery.  At first, you don’t realize what it is that you have discovered, but slowly, it dawns on you – what you have stumbled across, its significance. Whatever the discovery may be, you’ll never see the thing it was about, the same way ever again.

It’s like enlightenment – to get your eyes opened, to see something that you had been seeing all your life, yet to see something that you hadn’t seen before. And I find these rare moments quite pleasant. This is what I mean by “the joy of discovering”.

And when I talk about “the joy of discovering connections”, I’m talking about those moments where Read More »