“What’s new?” is a question that has become increasingly difficult to answer these days. Since the emergence of Covid in the early part of 2020, and the lockdowns that followed it, a lot of us have been spending a lot of time at home. A vast number of offices have shifted to the work-from-home paradigm, at least for now. Public places like malls and cinema halls were either closed, or running with restrictions. Many people have voluntarily cut down on any unnecessary activities. Overall, for one reason or another, most of us are now less active and outdoorsy this year, compared to the same time last year.
I’m no different. Being a bit of an introvert, I wasn’t very outgoing in the first place. And now with all this, I’ve become a total hermit! Consequently, “what’s new?” has become a dreaded question, as there’s nothing new happening at all. Everyday seems the same, same as the previous few months. Life seems to be stuck, and the silence of the stillness is getting louder and louder. But, as they say, there’s a silver lining to every cloud, and this silence has also shown me a few.
One of those is a lesson that I realized recently, and that I want to talk about today. And that is: The more emotionally engaged we are, the less we are affected by the smaller things.
What I mean by “emotional engagement” is being preoccupied by things or events that directly make us happy or sad, or that serve as a conduit leading to other things that elicit some kind of an emotional response from us.
For example: The birth of a child, or the passing away of a loved one. These would be the biggest emotionally engaging events I believe. But there are other things too, albeit to a lesser extent presumably. Adjusting in a new environment like a new city or a new job. Waiting and anticipating the results of something you have worked very hard for, for a long time like exams, sporting competitions, artistic projects, etc.. Even politics has become quite a roller-coaster of emotions these days.
The point is: the more such things we have in our lives, or the stronger their pull, the less effect we would feel from the other smaller stuff happening to us at the same time.
We wouldn’t be bothered by water damage from a plumbing leak when we are already going through a personal tragedy. An artist wouldn’t be as elated after winning a lottery worth a thousand dollars, if her recently released work, for which she had worked for years, was a critical success, even though it might be a commercial failure. Again, the idea is that the minor things don’t seem to matter so much when you are dealing with bigger things in life.
However, when there’s stillness, when there’s nothing happening in our life, then the same minor things can affect our emotional stability in more significant ways. A small argument with the neighbor can seem like a very big deal. A missed opportunity for an inconsequential thing, in the larger scheme of things, can give us sleepless nights. Not being able to get a simple task done can plunge us into the abyss of self-doubt. It doesn’t take much for tears, or a laugh, for that matter.
A choppy sea is not affected by a rock, but throw the same into a still lake, and it will cause ripples.
Of course, this may not be news to many of you. Now that I think of it, it kinda seems obvious even to myself. But sometimes, and I’ve said this before also, there’s a difference between knowing something and realizing something. The stillness in my life these past few days made me realize this simple lesson only now.
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But realization is just the first step. The real benefit from it comes when we use it to improve our lives and relationships.
So, next time, if, and when, we find ourselves flustered or flattered by even the smallest of things, we might want to take a look at the rest of our life, and see if a lack of a more powerful stimulus is causing us to feel that way at that moment.
Obviously, that is not to say that having a bigger negative experience is to be preferred over the nuisance caused by these trifles. But when we find ourselves in such a situation, what we can do is to find, or create, a stronger positive event or goal in our life. When our focus will be on that, we won’t notice those trifles.
The rock can’t cause ripples in a choppy sea. And neither in a river flowing with force. We need to find or create that river that flows with a force of purpose.
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Another way we can benefit from today’s lesson is by observing those around us, and understanding them better.
Do you find your family members getting irritated easily? Do you see your friends getting into debates about the smallest of things? Maybe they’re stuck too? Maybe they need help seeing, and finding, a path that’s more fulfilling? At the very least, it can help us understand where they are coming from, and why they react the way they do.
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Well, that’s all for this silver lining today. The stillness that I keep referring to has shown me some others as well. But more on those later. Hope you liked today’s post. And as always, I’d love to hear your thoughts on it!
Till next time. Be well!
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Photo by Linus Nylund on Unsplash
Echoes In The Ether 