The meaning of life is to find your gift. The purpose of life is to give it away.
Pablo Picasso
So, I came across this quote recently. And it made me stop and think a bit. So, obviously, I had to share it with you guys. 😄
[ Note that even though I’m attributing it to Pablo Picasso, there seems to be some doubt about the accuracy of that. People much smarter than me have tried to find the true source of the quote, but it’s still not exactly clear. So, for now, I’m just going to trust the good people at goodreads.com who ascribe it to Picasso, and run with it. ]
The first thing it made me realize was that I didn’t have a clear enough picture of the difference between “meaning of life” and “purpose of life”. I knew they were not the same, but I couldn’t exactly put my finger on it. Kind of looking at something through a misty haze – you feel there’s something there, but don’t know what precisely.
Before I go into a long-winded exposition on the difference between these: What do you think? Do you know exactly what these two things mean to you? What are some of the things that give meaning and purpose to your life?
Today’s post is one of gratitude – the “grass is green here too” kind. To save your time, let me tell you beforehand: there’s no life lesson here or anything like that; just a pleasant experience I thought I’d write about now, and maybe, reminisce about one day down the line.
I think most people, at least at some point, think about how, to use the cliché, the “grass is greener on the other side”. I’m no different. A few days ago, I was in one of those moods where I wished to be lounging on the lush green grass on the other side of the fence.
But it suddenly struck me that I was actually rolling in some really soft and fresh grass on this side itself. And that too without putting too much effort into mowing the lawn!
So, today’s post is based on an interesting observation a dear friend made sometime back. Before we get to that though, let’s start with some background.
For the curious mind, there are just too many questions out there. When did something happen, who did what, what was the reason for something, how things work, where things come from and go, etc.
There can be no end to questions, I think. The more we know, the more there is to know further. Look at science. There was a time when the atom was the smallest thing. One would’ve assumed that knowing that would be the end. But, no. Because even with that knowledge, we didn’t stop questioning. We wondered about what the atom itself was made of, how it worked, etc. Because of these questions, now we know that even the atom’s not the smallest thing (they are made of quarks, if you were wondering). And now, scientists are delving even further into these building blocks (the quarks).
And it applies to almost everything, not just science. Look at history, economics, human behavior, etc. Whenever we think we have nailed down something as an underlying fact, if we continue to ask more questions after that point, we can always find another level of detail.
The point is that questions are never-ending. There are always more questions we can ask, and when we do, we always get more answers. It may take time, but eventually, we get there.
But, even though questions are inexhaustible, fundamentally, they all belong to one of these types: who, what, when, where, how, and why.
And this is the interesting observation that my friend made: these questions are not all equal. We can have an infinite number of questions, and we can funnel them into these six types, and although all of them have their own value, there’s one type that is most important, and also the most difficult one to answer. And that is the class of questions asking, “Why?”
It may not seem that big of a deal initially, but when I thought about it more, I realised how much more significant this question is, compared to the others, and how much impact it has in our lives.
The other questions are definitely important. But they are more… how should I put it.. “superficial” in a way. They are based on facts. If we have full knowledge of all the variables in the system, we can answer them.
But “Why?” That is another beast. It pushes us to explore outside the boundaries. It goes deeper, and wider, and surrounds us, and subsumes us.
As before, it’s not restricted to one domain. Any domain you look at, “Why?” is perhaps the most important question. Science, history, law, human behavior. Especially, human behavior. It’s even become somewhat of a corporate mantra these days, as popularized by Simon Sinek.
Compared to all the other “materialistic” questions, “Why?” is the “philosophical” one. It leads us to think about and discover new questions we didn’t even know we wanted to ask.
But, it’s not for the faint of heart. When asked openly and courageously, it can show us a brutal reality we may not be ready to face. It can also lead to desperation, a feeling of helplessness in not knowing the answer.
Or it can open our eyes, expand our horizons. It can take our awareness to another level in the journey of discovery. It’s more insightful than anything we know of. As someone who likes to think about these things, I was really taken in by how much more significant and profound “Why?” is compared to the other questions. It’s head and shoulders above the rest.
* * *
Once we realize the power of “Why?”, and can inculcate the habit of going back to it in our daily lives on a regular basis, it can be an eye-opener, and a guide for life. Here’s a simple exercise: think of any three things that are happening in your life right now. Something that you are working on, something someone said, something that happened at work. Anything. Even if not three, think of at least one such thing. And then ask “Why?”
It seems like a good thing having them in life, no? Who wouldn’t want that? Where you had one thing earlier, now you have more. Where you could do something one way only, now you can do it in different ways. In general, having alternatives seems beneficial, a good situation to be in. Problems of plenty, right? 🙂
But recently I realized that it may not always be such a good idea. At least for someone like me. Specially, when it is not just a case of “which”, but of “whether”. And there’s a big difference between the two. Let me try to explain with an example.Read More »
I last posted on this blog at the end of last year. I was hopeful for the year that was about to come. But, as life can do from time to time, it surprised me.
Though there have been some good moments this year, there have been some bad ones too. But more than anything, it’s the big cloud that we are all living under that has cast a shadow over everything.
I’d been wanting to write at least something for some time now. And it’s not like I don’t have things to talk about. But life has been surprisingly busy this year. Or maybe I’ve become lazier. Whatever be the reason, the point is, there wasn’t enough motivation. But today, I’m taking a bath (cue the motivation-is-like-a-bath quote).
But I can’t write about the usual stuff I post here, not yet. Talking about anything else feels like ignoring the elephant in the room. I’m, of course, referring to the crisis that the world is facing today in the form of COVID-19.
So, today, let’s talk about that only. Read More »
So, this is going to be my last post… Don’t worry, I’m not going anywhere; it’s just going to be my last post of this year. 😉
I find endings to be bitter-sweet. I guess most people feel the same way, no? These endings could be of something as trivial as a vacation or a year, or of things that mean much more – like the end of a phase of your life, a relationship, etc.
Ultimately, the end signifies something that was with you, that was in your life – was your life – for a while, and now that thing won’t be there any more. You have memories of it – good or bad, but important memories nonetheless. That association with the thing that’s ending has left an imprint on your life. You are the person you are because of it, to some extent.
And it is true that the next chapter can begin only after the previous one ends. You can’t appreciate the beauty of the mountains while you are enjoying the sun on the beach! 🙂
I had a good year overall. Grew personally and professionally. Had some important new experiences. Wish I had done better with my writing, but, now, I’m just being greedy. 😀
So, yeah. It’s sad when something good comes to an end. But that end also brings with itself possibilities – possibilities of even better things. A clean slate. A fresh start. The chance to do things not done before; to experience things never experienced before. To see things, never seen before. And importantly, to even see the same things, like we haven’t seen them before.
So, on that note, let’s wrap up this year with hope in our hearts for an even better time in the coming one.
Wish all the dear readers of this quaint little blog, and to everyone else too, a very, very Happy New Year!!
Many of us have probably faced situations where we are at a crossroads in life – we need to make choices that could significantly, and irrevocably, alter our life from there on out.
It’s tough to make those choices, knowing full well that the wrong choice could have a very negative impact on your life. Sometimes, you even wish you didn’t have to make that choice. But you are at that crossroad, and you must choose. Examples of such cases include committing to a relationship, changing jobs or giving up a well-paying job to follow a passion full-time, deciding to raise a child, etc.
It takes courage to make a choice at such a time. Maybe even a leap of faith. Whatever you may want to call it, it doesn’t come easy. You are excited about starting a new chapter in your life, but you are also scared of the uncertainty of success in case you do take the right path, and of the certainty of failure in case you do not; you want to make sure whatever choice you are making is for the right reason, but it is hardly ever easy to do so given so many factors that go into making that choice. Maybe you have been seduced by the hype around the whole thing. Maybe you are just doing it because everyone else is doing it. Maybe you are doing it for the money, or on a whim, or out of ego, etc. When it comes to justifying a decision, we could fool ourselves into believing whatever we want to believe, while the actual reason could remain something else. That is why, when making a choice, it is important, to me at least, that the driving factor behind that choice is “valid” and “reasonable”, and not just something superficial. To sift through all this, takes a lot of thinking and effort, so much so that at times, it can even be a struggle.
Of course, there are people who are quite sure of themselves and their choices. They don’t worry about so many things; they can just “jump in”. But for the rest of us, who are unsure of themselves, it’s a very challenging period. We overthink, we try to chart out possible outcomes and contingency plans, we need to mentally prepare ourselves to face the stark possibility of failure, and to temper our hopes and expectations in case of success, etc.
It’s not easy, but we do it. Somehow. We do our best to gather information, analyze it, and arrive at a decision. We go over it again and again. But finally, we decide. And in that moment, we think we’ll be okay with whatever happens after that. We can’t control everything, but we have done what we can for now, and we are happy with our choice.
But we are only human. When the stakes are high, we do look for support from our family. The support that we seek could be in the form of money, or legs in the field, or setting us up with the right contacts, or sharing their knowledge and experience, etc.. But mostly, it’s just emotional support that we seek – we just want to know that they understand us, and our decisions, and that they’ll be okay with however things turn out, because they believe in us, and in our ability to take the right call.
I wish I had that right now. Just a little faith, a bit of belief. In me, in my ability to make my own life’s decisions.
I understand that my family is acting out of love and concern for me, and I do appreciate that. But there comes a time, when you need them to let go, to let you make your own mistakes and learn from them. This echoes something I had written a couple of years ago. Seems like nothing has changed on that front during this time. It seems that in my family’s eyes, I’ll always remain someone who’s not smart or capable enough to decide what’s good for him.
And it’s not just about being concerned about a risky decision. That is only natural when you love someone. What I’m really pissed about is that my family can’t even understand the reason I’m making that choice. They are assuming all kinds of frivolous reasons for it, which are far from the truth. The thing pinching me most is that they still don’t get me. Will they ever? If your family can’t, who can?
Fortunately or unfortunately, I’m a man of my own convictions. This risky choice of mine may well come back to bite me in the ass, or it may pay good dividends. After thinking about it and doing the best I can to arrive at a decision, I’m willing to take that chance. But it would’ve been nice to have your loved ones support you in that decision.
* * *
Sometimes, I wonder what my life would’ve been like if I had people backing me, who had faith in me. Not just on this occasion, but in life in general. I know people whose families have that kind of faith in them, and these people always seem to be quite confident and sure of themselves. It could just be a coincidence, but I have a feeling that it is not.
I guess for the rest of us, constantly fighting to stand up for our beliefs, and to prove ourselves is the only way to survive. Maybe one day that will change?
Well, it’s been almost two months since my last post. Time indeed flies! Wish I could say I had been busy, but, come on! I should be able to find the time to write at least something in two months! I need a strong dose of motivation from somewhere!! If any writers are readers here today, maybe you can help me out: how do you guys motivate yourselves? And please, don’t say, “Just because I love writing!” Nothing wrong with that, but it’s just that, perhaps, for me, writing is more of a liking than a true love. So, I need some motivation from that perspective. 🙂
Anyway. So, I completed 31 years of this life on the 31st of last month. But I’m not here to talk about all those years today. I’ll just focus on the last one year.Read More »
I had heard variations of this in the movies. Didn’t think it was ridiculous, but it never really touched or connected with anything either. Until now.
The past few months have been disappointing. I know I have my family, my health, a job, a house, food on the table – all that one could need to survive, or even thrive. I know that I should be grateful for what I have, as most of the people in the world don’t even have half of those things. And I am.
It’s just that “needs” and “wants” are different beasts. And the things that I’ve been really wanting and hoping for, have not been happening, while things that I was not expecting, or looking forward to, have been.
So, despite all that I have, I’ve been staring disappointment in the face one day after the other – at work, in personal relationships, finance, health – you name it.
There have been moments of joy too. But overall, I haven’t been having the best of times these past few months.
So, recently, I had another one of those moments of insight into my thinking and experiencing process. And I thought it might resonate with you too.
A few days ago, a friend and I were discussing something at work. Now both of us consider ourselves fairly open to looking at things from different perspectives, not being bound by our own experiences and first impressions.
For example: I may not get along well with a person X, but if some other person told me that X was a nice person, I wouldn’t not believe them. I’d chalk up my own bad experience with X to circumstances, or just misunderstanding, or maybe just that we don’t get along well together, even though we may both be decent people individually. There are so many possibilities, and plus, if the other person considered X a nice person, she must also be doing so based on her own experiences. I see no reason why my own experience was likely to be more accurate than hers. So, I’d give X the benefit of the doubt, and in any future dealings with X, I’d try and not start off with a confrontational attitude from the beginning itself, and instead try to see things from their perspective too. Well, I’d try, but I’m only human after all… 🙂
Echoes In The Ether 