Category: musings

How Many Times More?

A Wondering WandererLeave a comment

On a recent trip down the rabbit hole (while searching for something on the net), I came across something that I felt like sharing with you all today.

Because we don’t know when we will die, we get to think of life as an inexhaustible well. And yet everything happens only a certain number of times, and a very small number really. How many more times will you remember a certain afternoon of your childhood, an afternoon that is so deeply a part of your being that you can’t even conceive of your life without it? Perhaps four, or five times more? Perhaps not even that. How many more times will you watch the full moon rise? Perhaps twenty. And yet it all seems limitless…

This is an epitaph written on Brandon Lee’s tombstone. For those who don’t know him (I confess, I didn’t at the time), he was an actor, and the son of the legendary Bruce Lee. And unfortunately, he died at a very young age of 28.

And to give credit where it’s due, the above epitaph is actually paraphrased from a 1949 novel ‘The Sheltering Sky’ written by Paul Bowles.

The reason why I wanted to share this is because I found something really heartfelt about this quote. It just makes you pause and think about things, doesn’t it?

How many times do we really see the full Moon rise? When was the last time that you saw it? How many times do we share conversations and laughter with our loved ones? How many memories do we have that we cherish beyond anything?

The numbers may vary for different people, but one thing I think would be common for us all, is that we never think about how many more times we will get to experience those beautiful moments again. We just take these things for granted.

We are so used to certain things that we never fully realize how precious they are. We have such fragile and ephemeral lives. Anything can happen anytime. Yet, it’s like we are blind to the whole thing.

Now I do understand that there’s a practical aspect to the whole thing, and that we wouldn’t be able to function properly if we kept thinking about the impermanence of it all. I agree that we do need to focus on the present moment, and not worry about what might happen in the future, which we can not control beyond a certain limit.

But that should happen as a conscious choice, isn’t it? Not because we don’t realize the nature of these things, and are just living unconsciously, tumbling from one day to another. We must remain aware of how limited our days are. Because only then can we truly, deeply appreciate things like those wonderful memories, beautiful Moon rises, the laughter of loved ones, etc.

We get so caught up in our lives, postponing our plans for that vacation, for that conversation, for that reconciliation, for that thing that we always wanted to do, that we never stop to think what if there isn’t enough time to do those things later?

Experience what you can while you can. Go see the Moon rise!

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Pic Credits: brandonlee.com

Phases Of The Mood

A Wondering WandererLeave a comment

If you are one of those few who read the title correctly (“Phases Of The Mood”), and think there’s a typo there, let me tell you: that is not a typo. 🙂

We have all heard of the phases of the Moon. The Moon waxes and wanes as it revolves around the Earth in a 29-day cycle. And as it does so, some days it shines brightly in the sky, some days not so much. And some days, not at all.

Indulging in a little bit of personification here, but recently, I was looking at the crescent Moon, and it made me wonder: Does the Moon doubt itself on those days when it shines less brightly, or not at all? Must it feel like an imposter, that on the rare days when it does shine with all its might, it’s just a random fluke?

We are all like the Moon in a way, isn’t it? Some days, we are high on energy. We feel good, and we light up our surroundings. While on some other days, we feel low, and can’t “shine” as brightly. We question whether we are good for anything. We have self-doubt.

But as I continued to admire the Moon, even in its crescent form, I realized something: the Moon may shine less brightly on some days, but it’s still the very same Moon that shines as brightly as it does on the Full Moon nights!

The Moon is what it is – it remains whole, whether it shines brightly, or not at all. It doesn’t change one bit, no matter how much it is glowing on a particular day. It’s only a matter of circumstances – being in a certain place at a certain time – that affects how bright it appears. And actually, it’s not even about the Moon itself if you think about it. It is about where the observer is in relation to the Moon. If one could leave Earth and be in the right place, they would see a Full Moon every night!

So, on those days, when we are feeling low, or inadequate, or having self-doubts, it would do us well to remember that just like it's simply the phases of the Moon, and nothing more, that affect how brightly the Moon glows that night, we also go through our own phases of the mood.

We remain the very same radiant being who has illuminated their surroundings earlier. If somebody tells us that our light is no longer the same as before, maybe they are just catching us in a bad phase. A matter of circumstances. Maybe our current disposition is just an intermediate step on our way to full glow. A phase of our mood. Or perhaps the observer themselves is not at the right viewpoint to see our full potential.

It is totally okay to go through these phases of the mood. The thing to keep in mind is that the whole of us is still there. Not glowing as brightly on some days doesn’t mean we are any less of a person than what we were earlier.

And just like it’s a given that the Full Moon will eventually come around, we too will once again shine with all our light soon enough.

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Credits: Photo by Marcus Dall Col on Unsplash

Wonders Of The Night Sky

A Wondering WandererLeave a comment

So, sometime ago, a friend and I, both interested in the craft of writing, were talking about writing something based on a prompt. We randomly selected “the night sky” as our writing prompt, and we decided to write a short poem on it.

This post is not about that poem though. The poem I’ve already written and shared earlier (can you guess which one that is from this list?) In this post, I wanted to delve into what I find so fascinating about the night sky after all.

We usually don’t think much about why we feel a certain way about something. We just feel the way we do. At least that’s the way it is for me. So, from time to time, when we do sit down to think about the reasons, it can seem like a journey of discovery. About our likes and dislikes, our ways of thinking, our inherent nature. About ourselves.

There aren’t many things that can give us the kind of mind-opening, light-bulb-turning-on, a-ha! moments that learning something new about the self can. And I love those moments!

So, without further ado, following are my reasons for being in love with the night sky, in no particular order, but grouped into categories:

Physical & Scientific

I’m always, always amazed by the universe. The only thing that I think comes close to it, in terms of how amazing it is, is the human body.

Talking first of the universe: it is astonishingly vast. We can not even imagine the distances. On top of that, it is remarkable how the stars work. Not many of us realize how the processes that power stars work. But I’m sure that those who do, can not help being in awe of them. If you are interested in knowing more about stars and how they work, I recommend this short video by Phil Plait.

Then there’s the marvelous ability of the human eye to perceive something that’s millions of light-years away! From the way a light photon is generated, absorbed and re-emitted, thousands of times, as it travels across the vastness of space, to reach the eyes of that single human observer, to then travel through the optic nerves, to be processed by the human brain (which itself is the most complex thing in the known universe), while the brain simultaneously observes itself observing the universe. Wow!! I mean, just wow! I get goosebumps thinking of it all!

Spiritual & Philosophical

The night sky often puts me into a reflective and introspective mood. It reminds me of how small and insignificant we are, how small are our problems and concerns, in the overall scheme of things. We amount to nothing, yet there is so much beauty in the fact that we are able to perceive and appreciate that moment. How can that kind of beauty be insignificant? What exactly adds “significance” to something? What does it all mean in the end? What lies beyond? Why are we here? Once you start pulling on that thread, there’s no stopping the stream of questions that sprouts.

But despite all those unanswerable questions, the night sky still brings a sense of peace that goes beyond just the quietness of the night.

Romantic

Well, this goes without saying, doesn’t it? Countless odes have been written about the Moon, and how it invokes such romantic feelings in people. I’m no different. And it’s not limited just to the Moon either. The stars, the clouds, the wind, everything takes on a sense of intimacy in the serenity of the night. In that moment, it is just you, and the night sky. And maybe someone else too, looking up at a similar view somewhere, thinking and feeling the same things, maybe hoping to find someone who appreciates that moment like they do. Like you do.

The night sky is the common cloak enwrapping you and that stranger, across distances, protecting and warming you both against the coldness of the night, both literal and figurative. It makes you feel closer to your soulmate, one you may not even have met yet.

Imaginative

When I look at the night sky, I sometimes can’t help but wonder what life on another world must be like. The universe is so huge that I don’t doubt whether or not there would be some form of life on another world somewhere. There most definitely would be, even if it is microbial or very primitive. Intelligent life would be harder to come by, but again, in the infinite possibilities out there, how can it not?

What would those worlds look like? How would it feel like for a human to stand on that world, and look up to find three suns in the sky, or maybe a giant planet hanging right on the horizon? What kind of societies would they have, if they have any at all? Would they have flying cars (a reality, finally, at least somewhere in the universe)? How would they view life? Would they have hopes, and dreams, and fears, too? Would they understand love? Might someone from that world be looking right in our planet’s direction, at that very moment, while I’m looking in theirs? What would it be like for our two species to encounter each other? When the mind starts wandering, it really does wander, doesn’t it? 😀

* * *

So, as you can probably guess from the above, the night sky invokes a lot of feelings and thoughts in me. If you look at it, in a way, it reminds us what it means to be human, by speaking to us through knowledge, consciousness, spirituality, love, companionship, curiosity, imagination.. everything that makes us, us.

The night sky is a thing of beauty and wonder. And I just hope I never lose touch with it. 

How do you feel about it though? Does it move you too? Would love to hear your thoughts in the comments section below or on our social media channels! 🙂

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Photo by Roberto Nickson on Unsplash

A Beautiful Morning & A Reminder

A Wondering WandererLeave a comment

Well, today ends the first month of the year. It was just yesterday that I was bringing in the new year, and it’s already 1/12th over! Time flies, doesn’t it?!

Or, maybe it’s just me. This month was quite a busy one, on both the work and personal front. Last few days, it’s been tough getting any time at all. When one is running from one deadline to another, one needs a way to recharge, to avoid collapsing altogether. And recharge quickly too! It’s not like one can take a two day hiatus from life! If only everyone had a “fast charger” for their life.. 😄

Luckily, I have found mine. And you can use it too, if it’s compatible with your “device”, aka, your soul. So, without making this a suspense drama, I’ll let you in on my so-called “fast charger”: it is nature. I just love being around nature, and it is something that gives me immense peace and contentment.

But why do I call it my “fast charger”? Well, this is something that I just realized this past week. Even though I’d been tired, mentally and physically, from the stress, lack of sleep, etc., 15 minutes of a mindful morning being in nature was all it took to leave me invigorated. Yes, just 15 minutes! It felt so nice to just be in that moment, taking in the beauty and serenity of it all. I didn’t realize the full effect that it would have on me at that moment though. It was during the rest of the day, when I was busy with other things, that I really knew the value of those few moments from the morning. I had an energy and liveliness that I didn’t have in the days leading up to that morning. I felt light, and not under a cloud of heaviness that usually comes with stress.

And I realized something.

When you are in the place where you feel at home, when you are doing things that you really enjoy doing, when you are around people you love, time changes its dimensions. While only 15 minutes may elapse on the clock, what you experience is worth much, much more.

This is something I’ve alluded to earlier as well in another one of my posts, “The Importance Of Life’s Center”. For me, “nature” is my “center”. Different people may have different “centers”. Everyone needs to find their own. It may be an activity, a place, a person, a thought, anything really. 

But the key is to be mindful and present when you are engaging with your “center”. I think that was the difference between this morning and so many other ones, all of which I usually spend in the same manner. Being mindful is what makes us see things clearly. It opens all our senses to the wonder and joy that we find in our “center”.

And it’s easy to see that with a very simple example too: suppose you have a “soul song” – a song that’s really close to your heart, that means something, that reminds you of something or someone important. Most of us have something like this. Now imagine this song is playing somewhere in the background during the day, when you are already working or doing something else that’s taking up some part of your attention. You might be aware of the song playing, but you wouldn’t feel very strongly about it. Now imagine you are playing the same song at night, while lying in bed before sleeping. The feelings that the song will invoke in you now will be far stronger. The difference? Your attention.

* * *

That morning was a reminder of the power of mindfulness to me. And also, of the importance of being around nature for me. We lead such busy and unmindful lives that we often don’t realize what peace and joy can be found in even the simplest of all moments. 😊

I’ll leave you today with this quote from Terri Guillemets, because it seems very apt to what I felt that morning:

(This quote is another thing I’ve already written about once earlier as well, if you are interested.)

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Photo by Michael Held on Unsplash

Can A Life Not Driven By Reason Be Successful?

A Wondering WandererLeave a comment

Hey guys. Today, I want to get your thoughts on something.

So, a few days ago, I was talking to someone, and she mentioned that anybody and everybody, in the history of the world, who has done anything even remotely successful, no matter how small, was able to do that only because such people always act with a reasonable mind.

The point we were discussing was whether or not we sometimes make decisions without any reason. And her argument was that even though we may, such people can never, ever be successful. To succeed at anything, big or small, one always needs to have a reason to do whatever they do (or don’t do, as the case may be).

Other people may or may not agree with that reason, or may not even see that reason in the first place, but within that person’s mind, there’s always a logical reason, on the basis of which they can justify their actions.

As a corollary, anyone who can not provide a reason for doing (or not doing) something, is doomed to be a failure, and is an idiot, in general. According to her.

Now, if you have been following this blog, you’ll know that I’m one of those “idiots”, apparently – I don’t always have a clear reason for doing, or not doing, something. I go by an inherent “feeling”. I don’t know if I would even call it a “gut feeling” or “intuition” – I don’t think it’s that; it’s just something I want to do, something that feels right in that moment. Even though I may know that it will not work out for me in the future in any “materialistic” sense, I’d go and do it.

I understand if that indeed sounds like being an idiot. That part I get. So, when she indirectly called me an idiot, I understood. That’s how it would look to most people, and that’s okay.

What I had a problem with was her saying, rather insisting, that nothing good can come out of such a mentality. That a person without a reason is never going to succeed. She would go on to give examples of successful people, who always had reasons and justifications – she was a well-read person, and so it was easy for her. Unfortunately, I being not as well-read as her, couldn’t give her examples to the contrary.

* * *

Do you think she is right?

Do you think a person can achieve anything in life if they just do what they feel in their heart to be right, even though they can not see any reason in that, no matter how hard they try? And I’m not even talking about world domination or anything big like that. Even small achievements would do – doing well in your relationships, career, as a human. 

I guess ultimately the question is:

Can your life be happy and peaceful, even if you live it without a reason driving your every action?

Clearly, since I don’t consider myself such a logical and reasonable person all the time, her line of thought that this was not possible, struck a nerve. I, of course, want to be successful in life. Who doesn’t? But do I really need to change who I am as a person at such a fundamental level to do that? Can I not be successful at having a happy life if I don’t have a reason for everything that I do?

I know some people might say, “But there are thousands of successful people who followed their heart to achieve their dreams!” This is where it gets a bit tricky. The people that I’m talking about (who can not provide a reason for their actions), are a different bunch than these people.

Even though these people may have followed their heart to achieve success, their actions would still have been driven by a reason, right? A person, like a path-breaking artist or an entrepreneur, who went against all conventional wisdom to follow their heart, and became a pioneer in their respective field, would still have made decisions along the way that in their mind would lead to that ultimate goal. So, even though they were following their heart, their actions were still guided by a reason – it’s just that other people couldn’t see that at that moment.

The people that I’m talking about don’t have a reason guiding their actions in the first place. They don’t plan their next “move”. They live moment-to-moment, guided simply by their heart’s compass.

* * *

And the other thing is, even if there has been no such person in the history of the world, shouldn’t we try it for ourselves? I know it sounds ridiculous when you think about it – with seven billion people currently, and countless others before me, what are the odds of me being that one finally?! But we all get just one life, don’t we? Do we really want to live it according to what has been, according to how we are supposed to? And if nobody had ever done anything for the first time, we wouldn’t be here to begin with, no? But I guess, it wouldn’t come to that – I somehow feel there have to be people before who have lived the kind of life I’m talking about, and yet been successful. Again, no reason based on facts or anything for that belief, just a strong feeling!

The way I see it, it comes down to choosing between living my life authentically, the way I am doing currently, which probably will not be a “success”, going by her opinion, as against living a life that one is supposed to, driven by reason and logic, which also may or may not be a success, but would probably have better odds than the first case.

It seems like a very complicated and important decision. And if indeed I need to make changes, the sooner I do, the better it’d be, no? So, I really would like to know what other peoples’ thoughts are on this. No sugarcoating – give it to me straight. I may not agree with the person that I had this discussion with, but I like her honesty and straightforwardness. So, please give me your honest opinion.

If by some chance, you don’t agree with her line of thought, and side with mine, it would be great if you can share some examples of such successful people. I’d like to throw that in her face the next time we meet! 😁

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Photo by Felicia Buitenwerf on Unsplash

The Unknown Knowns

A Wondering WandererLeave a comment

There are known knowns. There are known unknowns. But there are also unknown unknowns. There are things we don’t know we don’t know.

Donald Rumsfeld

I recently came across this quote by Donald Rumsfeld, the former American politician. Although this quote by itself is quite enlightening – highlighting the limits of our knowledge, keeping us in check, lest we become over-confident and forget that no matter how much we know, there’s always more to know – it is not what today’s post is about.

So, why did I mention this quote? Well, as you were reading it, you might have also noticed something like I did. The quote talks about “known knowns”, “known unknowns”, and “unknown unknowns”. But there’s another category – “unknown knowns” – that’s conspicuous by its absence here.

And what exactly are these “unknown knowns”? Well, by their very definition, we can not know them! But even though we can not know or observe them directly, we can feel them. These things fall in the category of intuition, of faith, of belief.

This will be subjective to everyone, and many people might not even be able to relate to this, but if I talk about myself, there are things I just somehow “know” – there’s strong faith, belief even about certain things, which can not be justified or proved, based on empirical evidence, observed by our five senses.

It is these things that I refer to as the “unknown knowns” – “unknown”, because we don’t exactly know about how these things work, how they affect other things, how they came to be, etc., and “known” because our faith in them is so strong, that we know that they are true, that they do happen, even though we may not know how they happen. 

It’s a complicated thing to try and explain in words. Let see if some examples might help. Of course, different people will have such faith in different things, but still, here are some examples: belief in a higher power, in luck or destiny, in the karmic law, in the power of love, in your dreams of achieving something, or even simply in a better future, etc. We might not have any concrete evidence to believe in these things, yet some of us do. We don’t know what that higher power is (I’m not necessarily talking about God here), but in our heart, we just know that it is there. That’s what makes these things the “unknown knowns”.

Reading that quote above, I was reminded that we live in a society that focuses so much on the knowns / unknowns in the traditional sense – where things can be proved and disproved using cold logic and facts – but we hardly put in enough effort to develop this other way of “sensing” things, which sometimes I feel is very important if we have to survive in this world.

Again, I may not have any way to prove this, but I know my life is better because of my faith in these “unknown knowns”.

What about you?

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Photo by Katie Drazdauskaite @ Unsplash

LFTR #1 | On Switching Lanes Often

A Wondering WandererLeave a comment

If you are wondering what that weird abbreviation is, it is this: “Lessons From The Road”.

With this post, I hope to embark on a journey (pun intended), where sometimes, I’ll be sharing some of the lessons I’ve learnt while being on the road. And before you think of me as having a fun, travel-based lifestyle, and this as being some sort of a worldly-wise, rich collection of experiences (I wish!), let me tell you that, unfortunately, that is not the case.

When I say “lessons from the road”, what I mean is things I’ve noticed, or thoughts I’ve stumbled upon, while literally being on the road, behind a wheel. I enjoy driving, long drives specifically. There’s something about the open road, with the wind in my face, that tends to put me in a philosophical mood. That, coupled with the focus on driving, makes me notice some parallels / analogies between our journey on the road,, and our journey in life. And that is the genesis of these thoughts.

This is the first post in the series. However, this isn’t the first thought – there have been some earlier as well, but this is the first one I’m writing about. Keep an eye out for the rest in the future, as I hope to share them once those are penned down as well.

So, without further ado, here’s LFTR #1: Switching lanes frequently isn’t always as helpful as we might think.

Here’s what I mean by that: 

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Ripples In The Calm

A Wondering WandererLeave a comment

“What’s new?” is a question that has become increasingly difficult to answer these days. Since the emergence of Covid in the early part of 2020, and the lockdowns that followed it, a lot of us have been spending a lot of time at home. A vast number of offices have shifted to the work-from-home paradigm, at least for now. Public places like malls and cinema halls were either closed, or running with restrictions. Many people have voluntarily cut down on any unnecessary activities. Overall, for one reason or another, most of us are now less active and outdoorsy this year, compared to the same time last year.

I’m no different. Being a bit of an introvert, I wasn’t very outgoing in the first place. And now with all this, I’ve become a total hermit! Consequently, “what’s new?” has become a dreaded question, as there’s nothing new happening at all. Everyday seems the same, same as the previous few months. Life seems to be stuck, and the silence of the stillness is getting louder and louder. But, as they say, there’s a silver lining to every cloud, and this silence has also shown me a few.

One of those is a lesson that I realized recently, and that I want to talk about today. And that is: The more emotionally engaged we are, the less we are affected by the smaller things.

What I mean by “emotional engagement” is being preoccupied by things or events that directly make us happy or sad, or that serve as a conduit leading to other things that elicit some kind of an emotional response from us. 

For example: The birth of a child, or the passing away of a loved one. These would be the biggest emotionally engaging events I believe. But there are other things too, albeit to a lesser extent presumably. Adjusting in a new environment like a new city or a new job. Waiting and anticipating the results of something you have worked very hard for, for a long time like exams, sporting competitions, artistic projects, etc.. Even politics has become quite a roller-coaster of emotions these days.

The point is: the more such things we have in our lives, or the stronger their pull, the less effect we would feel from the other smaller stuff happening to us at the same time.

We wouldn’t be bothered by water damage from a plumbing leak when we are already going through a personal tragedy. An artist wouldn’t be as elated after winning a lottery worth a thousand dollars, if her recently released work, for which she had worked for years, was a critical success, even though it might be a commercial failure. Again, the idea is that the minor things don’t seem to matter so much when you are dealing with bigger things in life. 

However, when there’s stillness, when there’s nothing happening in our life, then the same minor things can affect our emotional stability in more significant ways. A small argument with the neighbor can seem like a very big deal. A missed opportunity for an inconsequential thing, in the larger scheme of things, can give us sleepless nights. Not being able to get a simple task done can plunge us into the abyss of self-doubt. It doesn’t take much for tears, or a laugh, for that matter.

A choppy sea is not affected by a rock, but throw the same into a still lake, and it will cause ripples.

Of course, this may not be news to many of you. Now that I think of it, it kinda seems obvious even to myself. But sometimes, and I’ve said this before also, there’s a difference between knowing something and realizing something. The stillness in my life these past few days made me realize this simple lesson only now.

* * *

But realization is just the first step. The real benefit from it comes when we use it to improve our lives and relationships.

So, next time, if, and when, we find ourselves flustered or flattered by even the smallest of things, we might want to take a look at the rest of our life, and see if a lack of a more powerful stimulus is causing us to feel that way at that moment.

Obviously, that is not to say that having a bigger negative experience is to be preferred over the nuisance caused by these trifles. But when we find ourselves in such a situation, what we can do is to find, or create, a stronger positive event or goal in our life. When our focus will be on that, we won’t notice those trifles.

The rock can’t cause ripples in a choppy sea. And neither in a river flowing with force. We need to find or create that river that flows with a force of purpose.

* * *

Another way we can benefit from today’s lesson is by observing those around us, and understanding them better.

Do you find your family members getting irritated easily? Do you see your friends getting into debates about the smallest of things? Maybe they’re stuck too? Maybe they need help seeing, and finding, a path that’s more fulfilling? At the very least, it can help us understand where they are coming from, and why they react the way they do.

* * *

Well, that’s all for this silver lining today. The stillness that I keep referring to has shown me some others as well. But more on those later. Hope you liked today’s post. And as always, I’d love to hear your thoughts on it!

Till next time. Be well!

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Photo by Linus Nylund on Unsplash

The Lives That We Do Live

A Wondering WandererLeave a comment

Today’s post is one of gratitude – the “grass is green here too” kind. To save your time, let me tell you beforehand: there’s no life lesson here or anything like that; just a pleasant experience I thought I’d write about now, and maybe, reminisce about one day down the line.

I think most people, at least at some point, think about how, to use the cliché, the “grass is greener on the other side”. I’m no different. A few days ago, I was in one of those moods where I wished to be lounging on the lush green grass on the other side of the fence.

But it suddenly struck me that I was actually rolling in some really soft and fresh grass on this side itself. And that too without putting too much effort into mowing the lawn!

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A Fork In The Road

A Wondering WandererLeave a comment

Alternatives. Options. Choices. 

It seems like a good thing having them in life, no? Who wouldn’t want that? Where you had one thing earlier, now you have more. Where you could do something one way only, now you can do it in different ways. In general, having alternatives seems beneficial, a good situation to be in. Problems of plenty, right? 🙂

But recently I realized that it may not always be such a good idea. At least for someone like me. Specially, when it is not just a case of “which”, but of “whether”. And there’s a big difference between the two. Let me try to explain with an example.Read More »